Can you believe we are almost at the end of 2015 already? Where have the last 12 months gone?! I guess this means I should start thinking about what have been the highlights of the past year.
Clearly, the biggest highlight of my year was being named the Top Sex Blog For/By Men in the Kinkly.com Sex Blogger Superheroes list. Never did I expect that in a million years! This does, however put an awful lot of pressure on me to ensure that 2016 is just as good, if not better than 2015. Well I sure as hell am ready to give it a bloody good go!
Over the past 12 months, I have written a fair few reviews. 115 to be exact. This works out at an average of 9.5 reviews a month. Or 2 reviews a week. So we’ve been through a lot this year. Many dildos, many masturbators, a few butt plugs and vibrators and we even got things tingling with some electro sex this year. So it should come as no surprise that picking this years best products was a little bit harder than it was last year. But here we are – I present to you my TOP PICKS of 2015.
Note: Not all of these products were released this year – but this list is based off of what I have reviewed in 2015.
Top Dildos
It’s been a fairly quiet year for Dildos, I have to admit. I didn’t review nearly as many as I thought I would, but coming out on top is Tantus.
What’s not to love about this dildo? It’s dual density. It’s ‘realistic’ and it’s UNCUT!!! It’s so refreshing to see an uncut dildo and this one just feels incredible. Since the review, I have certainly become a lot more comfortable with it’s size, and it’s one that I am proud to say takes pride of place in my dildo drawer.
This was a complete surprise. Not only is the thing massive AND made from stainless steel, it was under £40 too! I have still yet to find something wrong with it. It doesn’t smell, it doesn’t scratch… it really does look like it’s the real deal. It’s also not just a dildo. It’s prostate battering ram! This is one piece of bedroom weaponry that I honestly get excited about wielding every time.
3. Blush Novelties Real Nude Suko
This was actually the first dual-density dildo I had tried and I was so stupidly excited. It was SOFT, SQUIDGY and it felt AMAZING when in use. If you can track this little beauty down, it’s totally worth adding to your collection.
4. Tantus GARY
Is it really a surprise Tantus pops up on the list again? Gary was a new addition to the O2 line-up of dual density dildos, and it’s beautiful. It’s moderately textured, moderately realistic and of an average size that would make it welcoming to almost any body. I heart Gary very much.
Honourable Mentions: Fleshjack ‘Pierre Fitch’, Tantus CUSH, Tantus FLURRY, Vixen LEO, Bondara Realistic Silicone Dildo
Top Masturbators
My little chap has seen plenty of action too, with a massive selection of toys to keep your penis happy. Picking my favourites hasn’t been that difficult actually, for a change!
1. PULSE II Duo by Hot Octopuss
I said that this had the potential to be one of the top toys of 2015. It was a massive improvement over the original, and has become a firm favourite in our bedroom. The DUO added an additional motor to allow for enhanced couples play. If you have a penis or you are living with someone who has a penis, this is a truly AWESOME gift.
2. Fleshjack ‘Sex-in-a-Can’ Count Cockula
So you know how much I love Fleshjack – are you really surprised that one features in my top picks of 2015? I’m sorry, but I really loved this. Once you get past the slightly creepy mouth design (I personally think it’s HOT), it’s got a unique texture that provides an intense ride, and watching yourself slide in and out of the mouth is pretty damn arousing (at least, that’s what the MR thinks, anyway).
3. Fleshlight Quickshot Vantage
OK, so Fleshlight/Fleshjack appears in my top picks twice. So sue me. What I really loved about the Vantage, was that you get the same quality that FL/FJ are known for – but in a smaller, travel friendly size that not only is a great masturbation tool, but when combined with a good blow job, creates a totally mind (and load) blowing experience. And the see through sleeve is an added bonus as well.
Courtesy of Fleshjack International
4. Bondara Real Feel Masturbation Cup
I have to say, most masturbators i’ve tried that have cost less than £20 have never been anything to write home about. But this one genuinely surprised me. It’s reusable like a Fleshlight but has the size of a TENGA cup. And it’s under £20! An absolute bargain!
Honourable Mentions: Fleshjack GO Surge, TENGA Flip-Hole Black
Top Prostate Toys
2015 has definitely been the year of the prostate. Prostate Massage is now being openly talked about. More people are giving it a try, and LELO brought 4 new prostate pleasure tools into the world. So it should be no surprise when one of them takes the top spot…
1. LELO ‘HUGO’ Remote Controlled Prostate Massager
Last year, the L’Amourose Rosa claimed the top spot of top prostate toy. When I saw the HUGO, I was excited because it sort of looked like the Rosa, but had something extra… a remote control. My biggest bug bear with the Rosa was the fact it was difficult to control when in use. The HUGO addresses that issue perfectly and adds a load of extra bits as well. The dual motors are powerful and rumbly, and the SenseMotion technology in the remote puts this on another level. It’s a great solo gift but even more fun when used with a partner. I thoroughly recommend this!
This still has to make my top list for 2015 because, well it is a good toy, and I loved the original Rosa. The Rouge works just as well, but adds 2 bonus patterns and a heated tip. I’ll be honest, the 2 new patterns weren’t anything exceptional, but the heated tip was a nice touch…. but it’s almost £30 more expensive than the original.. hence why it didn’t score a perfect 10 – but it’s still a great toy, and if you’ve never tried a L’Amourose product before, you could do much worse.
3. ElectraStim Sirius Silicone Noir Prostate Probe
This one feels a little cheeky because you need a whole ElectraStim unit in order to enjoy it, however – the sensation of having ones butt and prostate tickled by electricity is a sensation that I never thought I would enjoy – but LORD did I. The Sirius is genius because it has a flexible neck, allowing you to position it exactly how you need for your prostate and the stimulation it delivers is just phenomenal. If you love having your prostate played with, and curious about electro sex – give it a go! I honestly don’t think you’d regret it. I know I certainly don’t.
I didn’t want to go all LELO on your ass – especially when my prostate has been well and truly taken care of this year by so many amazing products, and I want to ensure there is something for everyone, of all budgets. The Prostate Play is the cheapest on the list, but if you are prepared to spend a little more, then it’s worth upgrading the included bullet to a We-Vibe Tango. You will not regret it, trust me. But on it’s own, the P Play has a great shape that should work with most bodies, stays inserted comfortably and the vibrations target all the right spots.
Honourable Mentions: LELO Loki Wave, LELO Loki
Top Vibrators
Again, we’ve not reviewed nearly as many vibrators as I would have liked – but this is something i’m working on for 2016. And in a first, we have a joint No.1…
1. Doxy Wand Massager / LELO Smart Wand
It was incredibly tough to pick one of these for the top spot, because the truth is, I love them equally, but in slightly different ways. See, the DOXY is pure power, and probably the most powerful out of all the wand vibrators I have tried so far. However the Smart Wand has a much deeper ‘rumble’ which really resonates through my sexy bits more than the DOXY. However, the DOXY is better for attachments, but the Smart Wand is cordless…. See what I mean?! It was tough to pick one! So to be honest, which ever one you got hold of, you are in for an AWESOME time.
One of my favourite things of this year, was to take a product that was marketed for one purpose, but use it for something else instead. The Touch is marketed as a clitoral vibrator – however as we discovered, it was actually an awesome little tool to be used on a penis too! The tip is great for stimulating the frenulum and great for teasing the nipples, perineum etc. It feature the strength of the Tango but encased in soft squishy silicone which makes it an absolute winner for me.
3. Lovehoney Desire Luxury USB Rechargeable Wand
The Lovehoney Desire Wand is a new addition to my ever-expanding collection of toys, but a very welcome one indeed. This toy is great for those who have been intimidated by full size wands. This smaller toy still packs a good, strong punch – but not at the power-tool level of the full size wands. It’s sleek, sexy design would make it a perfect gift and it’s rechargeable and waterproof too!
Honourable Mentions: Fun Factory Big Boss G5, Doxy Skittle, MyStim Tickling Truman
And the rest…
1. LoveArc Self Propelled Sex Machine
Without a doubt, the LoveArc is one of the best products I have reviewed all year. It was also the most fun to review! It’s like a sexy piece of playground equipment – but for grown ups! It breathed new life into all of my suction cup toys and gave me a new way to explore positions in the bedroom. Ever wanted a sex machine? Well you can now have one at a fraction of the cost. You are the power the supply. The only limit is your imagination.
2. Lovehoney Multipurpose Suction Cup Attachment
Looking for another way to enhance those suction cup toys? Grab this attachment for your magic wand vibrator and you’ve got a small, powerful sex machine (I’m sensing a theme here…). This attachment slips on the the head of your wand and provides you with a flat plate to adhere your dildos and butt plugs too. You can then transmit those deep, powerful vibrations from the wand, through your toy. A cheap little product that has big ideas.
3. Good Clean Love Indian Spice Love Oil
One thing I realise is missing from this list is lubricants and oils. I haven’t really reviewed enough of these. Again, I will do my best to get more reviewed in 2016. However, out of what I *have* reviewed, this massage oil from Good Clean Love is just amazing. It’s slick, silky, has a gorgeous aroma that entices and lingers and a little goes a long way. If erotic massage is a heavy feature in your bedroom, then you need some of this!
But it hasn’t all been sunshine and rainbows. We have also reviewed some truly awful products, so I would like to present to you…
The WORST of 2015…
1. IMTOY Piu
The AutoBlow 2 took the crown last year as the biggest epic fail of the year. This year, that accolade goes to the Piu by IMTOY. When I saw this at the ETO Show back in June, I was intrigued and wanted to get my hands on one for review. Sadly, when I did… I was completely dumbfounded at how TERRIBLE it was. Weak vibrations, an app platform that was unstable and then non-existent, refused to hold a charge for any period of time and started to fall apart after only a couple of ‘uses’. And this is supposed to sell for over £100?! No… just now. AWFUL.
2. Pipedream Extreme ‘Fuck My Cock’ Masturbator
This one shouldn’t be a surprise. And I knew what to expect when I got it. Although I didn’t expect it to be as monumentally bad as it actually was. The sleeve stank to high-heaven and SPLIT after just ONE use. It was stupidly tight, and the texture inside was almost non-existent. The advertising is just plain gross and this ended up in the bin pretty much straight away after it was reviewed. Dreadful.
Dishonourable Mentions: HEPS Otris, Doc Johnson RoboSuck 3, Doc Johnson ‘Bust It’ Nut Butter, AdamMale Head2Head Stroker
Well that’s it for another year! What has been your favourite product of 2015? What would you like to see in 2016? Leave us a comment below. Also don’t forget to follow us on twitter and tumblr and get involved in the conversation.
Until next year!
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