Let me just get this out of the way – this is not going to be an overwhelmingly positive review – and I assure you there is very good reason.
But let me also just say, I always feel terrible about writing a negative review – especially when a company like SexToys.co.uk have been so kind enough to send it out in the first place, and even more so after I requested it. But I’d also like to remind people that in most cases, just because I haven’t personally gotten on well with a toy, it doesn’t mean everyone won’t. At the end of the day, it’s your body, your choice – unless the product is just so poorly made – in which case, I will tell you. Regrettably, I think this might be one of those cases where the design has been overthought, which meant little time was dedicated to actually researching and providing the best ‘function’.
I will try and make this as painless as possible, so without further ado – let’s just get straight into it.
In case it wasn’t obvious, the RoboSuck 3 is a combination pump/stroker. The idea being that you can pump yourself up and then use the soft squishy ass opening as a masturbator (with it’s textured massage beads). The box is fairly inoffensive, but fragile – much like the box for the Power and Hydro strokers. Inside you get the pump, the textured ‘donut’ orifice and a sachet of UR3 renewer powder.
The RoboSuck comes in 3 ‘flavours’ – Ass (which is the one we reviewed), Vagina and Mouth. The toy consists of a large plastic tube (like a regular penis pump) which has a motor on the top which controls the suction. There are 3 different intensities of ‘suction’, all operated by the power button, and then a separate quick release button for when you want to drop the pressure slightly, or remove yourself completely.
The pump needs 3 AAA batteries (not included). After giving it a good look over, it felt like it was sturdy enough in construction – it certainly didn’t feel cheap – although I noted that you cannot separate the motor from the plastic tubing – and I could already foresee a small problem if this was indeed the case.
As this toy is ‘dual purpose’ – this review will be split into 2: using it as a pump and then using it as a masturbator. So how does the RoboSuck fare as a cock pump? Well it wasn’t all bad, but it wasn’t all good either.
If you apply the donut to the tube and try to enter the pump flaccid – it’s not possible without shoving it through like a piece of wet spaghetti. It’s not really the best. You could place the donut over your flaccid penis, turn the pump on and then turn it on – in which case, providing you’ve created a decent enough seal – it will indeed pull your penis through and it will begin to ‘plump’ it up. There is a downside to this – the vacuum not only pulls your penis in, but it will also start to pull the donut in as well (see pictorial evidence a bit further down the page). This makes removing your penis a little ‘tricky’.
On the lowest of the 3 suction speeds, I did note that the vacuum ‘lost power’ quite quickly, so the best results for ‘pumping’ would be the second or third speed – but even then, they are still not as intense, so they are quite gentle (which is actually a good thing). As it does it’s work, the suction is quite pleasurable, and the clear tubing does make it somewhat arousing as you watch yourself fill up the tube – although I fear that is it is quite a large tube, there were times where despite seeing my cock grow and become thicker and engorged, I still felt slightly inadequate as there was still so much tube to fill, and unless I wanted my cock to explode (not in a good way) it is never going to fill it up. I still haven’t decided if this is a good thing or a bad thing.
I used the Tracey Cox Edge Stamina pump a little while ago, and it has a much smaller chamber, but I get closer to ‘filling’ that up and somehow that makes ME, personally, feel better. In all fairness to the RoboSuck – it did plump me up, and provided a cock ring was applied prior to pumping, I did see (and feel) a slight difference in erection strength and size. Not massive gains, but it was noticeable. I did try using the pump without the donut – just to see if this would make a difference. It didn’t – all it wanted to do was just pull in all the skin above my penis. Not pleasant.
I kind of wish there was a better way of switching off the pump – Once it’s turned on, you have to go through all three settings before you switch it off. Of course, you can press the quick release for a little ‘break’ but I’d prefer to pump up and then turn it off and sit there for a few minutes – and having to do those extra clicks on the button was just a minor irritation.
So as a ‘PUMP’ – I would give it a 6 out of 10 – it will indeed ‘plump’ you up – however the UR3 Donut get’s in the way and it can get a little uncomfortable after awhile.
So does it do better as a stroker/masturbator? Well, the short answer is No. I’m sorry, but I think this is a terrible stroker, and I will tell you why.
Firstly, the UR3 donut is surprisingly tight – which is odd, because at first glance, it looks quite wide – but once you are ‘pumped’ up, I found it just clung a little too tightly for me. The other problem, is the fact that the pump is completely sealed – so when you try to ‘thrust’ inside – there is no where for the air to go – so thrusting becomes difficult. The only way you can successfully stroke, is if you remove yourself after being ‘pumped’, take off the UR3 donut and apply it round the penis like a cock ring, then stick the tube back on over the top. This made it possible to stroke (provided I had used lots of lube).
But herein lies another problem. At the bottom (or top) where the vacuum chamber is, there are little tiny holes. If you get any liquid (be it bodily fluids/lube etc) then it’s going to get trapped inside the motor and this will break it. So it’s impossible to use this as a stroker WITHOUT lube, but if you do, you have to be careful to keep it away from the motor, and you certainly shouldn’t be ‘finishing’ inside (which to me, kind of negates the point of a stroker – I definitely prefer to ‘finish’ inside.
So as a stroker, I would have to give this a miserable 3 out of 10. If you use the UR3 donut on it’s ‘own’, it kind of works and feels nice – but it’s too short to provide enough stimulation for me (and the same goes when attached to the tube) – it’s like i’m humping air (well I guess I am humping air, that is, at least when I can ‘get inside’).
Clean-up and Maintenance
OK, if you thought a Fleshlight was a pain in the arse, just try and clean this one out without swearing. So yes, the pump cannot be disassembled – meaning it has to be cleaned as one unit. However, that unit is NOT waterproof. So in order to clean this effectively, you are going to need something like a bottle brush to reach all the way down to the bottom – use the smallest amount of water possible and give it a scrub and then you’ll want to get a towel inside and twist it around to dry it and remove the excess fluid that the relatively dry brush isn’t going to remove. Always hold it so the vacuum end is always pointing upwards as this will help stop any liquid from dripping into the mechanism. The outside of the pump can be cleaned with just a damp cloth.
The UR3 donut can be cleaning in water and then patted dry, before being dusted with the renewer powder to keep it soft.
I had really hoped this would be a good review – but I in all good faith, cannot say this is a good toy. This just missed the mark on so many levels. It may be well made, but cleaning it is an absolute arse-ache, as a stroker it’s practically impossible to use. It’s only ‘saving grace’ is that as pump it functions satisfactorily. However, at the price, you can easily find yourself cheaper alternatives.
If you still want to give this toy a try, you can order it directly now from Sextoys.co.uk. Don’t forget to use the code BIGGAY10 to save 10% off the purchase price of this toy, or anything else in their extensive range! All with discreet and quick delivery too!
This toy was sent to me free of charge in exchange for my honest review. This does not in any way affect my thoughts or opinions on this or any other product I may receive for review. All thoughts and opinions are 100% my own, honest thoughts and experiences. Affiliate links have been used within this post.
The Lowdown | Doc Johnson RoboSuck 3