Another year has flown by. 2017 is now but a distant memory. At least, i’m trying my best to forget it! But seriously, 2017 was a year that was far more turbulent than I was expecting, so in the blog front, things were a bit lax last year…

And for that, I can only apologise. In the latter part of the year, my libido went on a bit of a wander (not helped by my car accident at the beginning of November), not helped by the extra hours I was having to work (retail at christmas? really?!). But we are into a new year, and things are already starting to look up, and 2018 has a lot of exciting things in store (hopefully).

Before I get into the list, I just want to thank you. All of you. The readers, sharers, consumers… for 2017 we had our most successful year in terms of traffic. We had over 870,000 visitors who viewed over 1.8 million pages. A huge 30% increase over the year before. And that is incredible, especially as I was expecting our traffic to take a dip, as I wasn’t as active as I had wanted to be. So for your ongoing support; a huge heartfelt thank you. OK, enough of the sentimental stuff, let’s just get onto rounding up my top picks of 2017!


The PULSE seems to make our ‘best of’ list every year, and it’s not really difficult to see why. We are massive fans of this innovative penis vibrator, and it always induces toe-curling orgasms in both of us. So what did the third incarnation of this toy bring us? A better (and easier to use) charging system, easier controls and a stronger secondary motor. Most of the changes were mostly cosmetic, and admittedly, if you owned the previous incarnation (the PULSE II), then there wasn’t really anything new brought to the table. However, if it was your first time; the PULSE III does exactly what it needs to, and once again, earns it’s spot in our line-up.

When used with a partner, this is where we definitely have more fun with the PULSE III. I can clamp it on to my other half, switch it on and then blindfold him. As the PULSE does it’s thing, I can move around and tease him in all manner of ways – even more so if I have restrained him before hand and he can’t move. It’s great to just leave the PULSE on and have it milk him until he can’t take it any more.


LoveArc Leather Dildo Harness

The LoveArc was a revelation. Sure it’s clunky, expensive and looks like a dodgy piece of gym equipment; but it breathed new life into all of my suction cup dildos, and I was living! When I spoke to the inventors of the LoveArc back at ETO in 2015, they explained that they were working on some harness attachments, to allow you to use almost any dildo with the LoveArc. For months and months, I heard nothing. And then out of the blue, some harnesses arrived. Finally! I could ride all of my dildos with merry abandon! I was most excited about finally being able to ride my cavalcade of Fleshjack Boys dildos hands-free. If you have a LoveArc, you definitely need one of these!

Once again, I am riding the LoveArc around the house like a crazed rodeo cowboy – knowing that I can pretty much use any of my dildos with this thing is just a good feeling.

LoveArc Leather Dildo Harness


Ah TENGA. I’ve been a huge fan of TENGA ever since I got my hands on the first Flip-Hole many years ago. For those who want thrilling masturbators that don’t look like disembodied parts, then you really cannot go wrong here. I also love that TENGA aren’t afraid to mix things up once in a while, and the Air-Tech TWISTs were an exciting addition to the ever growing line-up. The ‘twist’ in these toys, is that you can twist the outer-case, and it changes the texture and tightness of the sleeve. There is no denying that these blew my mind, and compared to most ‘luxury’ masturbators, these are affordable and offer a lot of texture. Thicker girths may be a bit more wary, but should be suitable for most.

I was soon asking for him to play around with the tightness. As he twisted the cap, I exclaimed that he was right! I could feel the sleeve tighten on my shaft, like when he’s riding me and he clenches. It felt just like that.

TENGA Air-Tech Twist

The Rabbit Company Prostate Rabbit

Oh my goodness; I was so thrilled and excited to receive this. I was officially a huge fan of the Backdoor Rabbit, and after deciding I could no longer fully support LELO because of the HEX and Charlie Sheen fiasco (google it, I want to keep this brief!), I was hoping this would be a great alternative to the HUGO (which admittedly, when I tried it, I loved). And thankfully it was! In fact, I liked this one BETTER than the HUGO. It’s stronger, sturdy, comfortable and I thoroughly enjoyed the orgasms this one gave me. It is certainly on the pricier side (but not too far off from the price of the HUGO), so if you are looking to splurge on at least ONE luxury prostate product, you cannot go wrong with this one.

I could just feel it building with each clench, and with each movement of my hips. I could feel myself getting a little light headed, and then it happened. I came and the whole chair shook. I was so extremely happy!

The Rabbit Company Prostate Rabbit

PalmPower Mains Powered Wand

This one was a very unexpected surprise. I had read a few reviews in the past, but I was sceptical. When I finally got my hands one one to review, holy shit. I admit, the power and vibrations here are not for everyone. But for me, this thing gets me off everytime. When it says ‘PalmPower‘, it really means it! I was completely blown away by how something so small could produce vibrations like that! It is very intense, and on the highest settings, it is VERY strong and very buzzy, but when pressed against my cock, it had me twitching and writhing within minutes. Sometimes less. It’s also perfect for travel (although you do still need a plug point handy!). I’m curious to try out the ‘Recharge’ version (although I fear we might be sacrificing power for the sake of going cordless… we shall see!).

So the PalmPower is certainly a surprise. It does indeed pack a pretty strong punch, especially from something so small. Naturally, it doesn’t quite live up to it’s bigger and more expensive competitors, but for the price and size; it’s certainly a travel friendly option for when carrying a full size wand isn’t appropriate

PalmPower Mains Powered Magic Wand

Vixen Johnny Vixskin Silicone Dildo

OK, so can you believe it? I had been blogging for 3 years and I have NEVER tried a Vixskin dildo? I decided that enough was enough, and I treated myself to the Johnny and OH MY GOD! I LOVE IT! The dual-density silicone here is another level entirely; honestly it felt incredibly realistic in hand. And in use… Oh it just feels so wonderful. It’s not overly textured; just the size and general feel of the silicone just hit all the right spots. The downside is that they are incredibly expensive (most Vixskin models are over £100). But if you are looking for a long-lasting, body-safe realistic dildo, it’s certainly worth the splurge.

 The length of the shaft was perfect for hitting the sensitive prostate, and as I rode it harder, I was soon dripping with excitement (something that doesn’t often always happen for me). I can’t really describe it any better than ‘it just feels great; if you like having dick up your butt’. Which I do, so we’re all winners here.

Vixen Johnny Vixskin Silicone Dildo

Cortez the Anthro Avian Silicone Dildo

OK, I know this made it onto my list last year, but after reading my feedback, Twin Tail Creations agreed that smaller sizes would be just as helpful as offering bigger sizes. For me, I love the look of some of the fantasy dildos, but they only come in sizes that are just outside of my comfort zone; I lamented that more people might indulge in a fantasy dildo, if the size was less intimidating. I was slightly worried that making the Anthro Avian dildo smaller would take something away from it’s gorgeous design and texture; but I was wrong. The smaller size worked better to enhance the texture, and the size was perfect for hitting my prostate.

With a liberal coating of Sliquid Sassy, the MC slipped inside with ease. As the silicone on we chose is a little bit firmer than it was on the small, this really enhanced the texture of the ridges along the shaft. It’s still pretty soft but compared to the small, where it wasn’t stretching me as much, I could definitely feel more of the texture.

Mini Cortez the Anthro Avian

Sportsheets Strap-on Thigh Harness

It’s very rare that we score anything a perfect 10. But this earned it’s 10 with little effort. Giving us a new way to be intimate together, and provide an visually stimulating spectacle all in one. It also allowed us to try out positions that previously might not have been comfortable. The only downside is that it’s not a one-size-fits-all deal. But it was such a huge turn on for both of us, it wouldn’t have been right to miss this off the list.

The beauty of the thigh harness meant that both of our cocks were still within easy reach. As i’m riding the cock on his thigh, i’m working over his, and he’s working over mine. He’s tapping his foot again and i’m just in sensory overload. He stops as a little bit of pre-cum leaks from me, and he smiles. “You’re really enjoying that, aren’t you?”.

Some Honourable Mentions

MEO Cyber Exploration Cock “The texture was intense, so I had to take it slow, but it was worth it. I had half expected it to feel really rough (I still have the memory of the Icicles Tentacle in my head) so I was pleasantly surprised”.

Fleshjack QUICKSHOT Brent Corrigan “it’s a bit of a visual turn on, watching myself slide inside the clear sleeve, and watching the lips part and gently grip my penis. The butt orifice also gives a nice treat, and being able to watch all of the action through the case is just… that’s narcissistic, isn’t it? Ah who cares, it feels good”.

IMTOY Forbidden Fruit Pleasurenana “In short, I love the banana. It’s not innovative, good looking or sexy in anyway (unless you do have a fruit fetish, in which case YKINMK but good on you) and yet; it does the job and I can’t argue with results. It’s a novelty masturbator (and a fun one at that) and for the price point, it’s fairly good quality as well. That’s really all there is to it.”

Persian Palm Maddalena Ceramic Butt Plug “The tapered tip made for incredibly easy insertion. The ribbed design of the shaft felt delicious as each ripple past through my sphincter with a gentle pop. We were almost to the bottom, where that last ring gave me a little bit of trouble. But only a little. With a little gentle stretching and a last final ‘POP’, the plug was in”.

And my personal favourite post from 2017…

I could see he was getting close. Beads of sweat were forming on his brow, and his stroke had become faster, more intense. His other hand was clutching at the sheet. I watched his chest rise and fall rapidly, timing my strokes with his. I decided to move position. I turned myself around and lay at the foot of the bed, so I could look directly into his eyes. Our legs, entwined together.

From my short erotic story “Silence“.

And the biggest WTF moment goes to…

The Drilldo! Whoever thought power tools and sex toys should be mixed together seriously needs some help. But for real, I can see some merit in the concept, but in this particular instance, it just felt like my arse was being roughly churned like a vat of butter, and that really isn’t a pleasant feeling. But hey, we do these things so you don’t have too…

On the lowest speed, I noted that the dildo did not really spin round. My ass was a strong force of resistance. I needed to go faster. Pressing my finger a little firmer on the trigger, I braced myself. At the higher speed, we definitely got rotation. And I’ve got to say, it did not feel good. In fact, I will go as far as to say it actually hurt. Perhaps I needed more lube? I drowned that dildo in lube, and my hole too… and tried again. Nope, this definitely feels unpleasant to me…

Well there you have it! These were my top picks for 2017! We have plenty of reviews lined up for 2018 so far, and we already have some hits on our hands, so keep an eye out for those…

Finally, I just want to wish you all a very happy and successful 2018 and i’ll see you back here in a year for another round-up!