The list of things I am irrationally scared of is not very long; spiders, enclosed spaces, Jedward… But I can safely say that power tools are now one of the things that bring me out in a cold sweat…
This review has been a long time coming. Not quite as long as the last review (oops), but I have been sitting on the Drilldo (pun kind of intended) for a good few months now. And I have my twitter followers to blame. Not for the delay, no, that’s all down to me. No, it is they who begged me to try this thing, and like the sappy fool that I am, I agreed to take one for the team.
See, back at the beginning of the year, I was asked whether I would be interested in trying out one of these deluxe Drilldo kits. My initial instinct was HELL NO. However, I had made a resolution to be a bit more brave, and try things that are a little outside my comfort zone. I was still slightly unsure, and so I took to Twitter, to share my dilemma with the world. The response was… well;
Well, obviously you’re going to review it. What if you don’t and people get hurt? THAT WILL BE YOUR FAULT.
— ᴅʀ sᴄᴀʀɪᴇʙᴇᴀʀ 🏳️🌈 (@thisisrjg) April 13, 2017
I say what I always say when people question whether to review something; it’s always a good opportunity to investigate then educate.
— Cara Spook-ya 👻 (@TheCaraSutra) April 13, 2017
The scary sex lover in me is thrilled by this. On the other hand, the brain in me is saying are ye mad 😂 Someone’s gotta do it though so 👍
— 👻Spookarella👻 (@ella_scandal) April 13, 2017
— Jamie F. Lawson (@drlawson) April 13, 2017
etc etc etc…
And so, with the weight of peer pressure weighing down on me, I agreed to review it. And so, the nervous wait began. I was going through so many emotions. Terror. Excitement. Denial. What the hell have I just agreed too? But it was too late to back out now.
A few weeks later, a huge package arrived. This was it. The waiting, and nervous anticipation was finally over. The Drilldo had landed. As I opened the box, the cold sweats started again, and I kept muttering to myself; what the f### am I doing?
The concept of the Drilldo is simple. In a nutshell, it’s basically a custom drill bit, that will allow you to use Vac-u-lock dildos, with your favourite… power tools? That’s the simple part. What I was sent was a complete Drilldo collection, that included a fully working drill. So for those of you who aren’t very DIY orientated, and perhaps don’t keep a drill around the house; they’ve got you covered.
The box collection that I was sent is known as the Spiral collection. Inside the box is the Drill, the custom Drilldo bit, an 8 inch dildo/anal plug, the recharging cable, goggles (yes), Hi-vis jacket (yes again) and a bulb-style anal douche. They even include a little storage bag as well for everything. As the box lay on the table in front of me, I was still in a slight state of shock.
I’m stood here questioning my life choices… pic.twitter.com/D7WWTrjpUE
— The Big Ghoul Review (@thebiggayreview) May 5, 2017
So, let’s break down the collection. The drill itself looks like a standard basic drill. It’s got two directions (for screwing and unscrewing, naturally), and an adjustable grip for different bit sizes. You can also change the torque, I believe (it talks about softer and harder). It has a rechargeable battery, however the charger supplied in the box that I received was a US style charger; so if you are ordering from outside the US, you may need to consider getting a travel converter (if you don’t have one lying around already).
The dildo is made from 100% silicone, and is one of the only collections to feature a silicone insertable. I don’t know what the other products are made from, but they look like jelly/pvc. However I do know you can buy silicone vac-u-lock dildos separately from many good retailers, so I would certainly consider looking into those. In terms of it’s dimensions, it has an insertable length of 8 inches, and a circumference of 5.5 inches around it’s widest point at the tip. The shaft is 5 inches in circumference.
The included hi-vis vest is a little on the.. snug side. I am a husky bloke of around 6’2 in height, and the jacket was quite a tight fit. The goggles are, well goggles… so these fit perfectly fine. They serve no real purpose, other than allowing you to live out your wildest construction site fantasies. It’s not something i’ve ever really thought about, but you know… when in Rome:
— The Big Ghoul Review (@thebiggayreview) May 5, 2017
All that’s missing is the styrofoam mug of tea, and my arse crack hanging out the back of my tracksuit bottoms. I reckon i’d make a great builder.
The anal douche included is also made from silicone, and has a reasonably sized chamber to allow for ample preparation before you
churn you insides out engage in some serious play. It was comfortable to insert and held a decent amount of water. It’s actually probably my favourite douche, and sadly, one of the highlights of this big boxed collection. The douche will certainly see some regular usage going forward.
Truth be told, it took me a very long time to build up the courage to really try this thing. For months, i’d get it out, get ready, aim to give it ago and then just… chicken out. Also, a waning libido over the summer months also just meant I was really not in the mood for messing around with something like this. However, things are looking up, and I decided enough was enough; let’s drill my arsehole.
My original plan was to have my husband help me out with this one; but something told me that I wanted to experience this for myself first. Before I let the husband anywhere near it. To me, this is just common sense. And i’m bloody glad I did. After all the weeks and weeks of build up, I hated every damn second of this. But, despite that, I can’t deny that there will be some people out there who will absolutely LAP this up; and to you, I say GO FOR IT. I for one, will be keeping my tools for putting up flat pack furniture.
Getting yourself set up is easy. The Drilldo bit is easy to fit, and once attached to the provided drill, provides a secure fit. The drill seems to pack some decent power, and can go from achingly slow, to WHAT THE FUCK with just a firm press of the trigger. A little switch next to the trigger changes the rotational speed of the drill, and is quick and responsive. It’s a fairly lightweight drill as well, so it’s not too heavy on the wrists.
In order to get used to the actual dildo, I used it on it’s own (without the drill), just so I could be fully comfortable with the size and shape, before I started whizzing things around. The silicone used here is very smooth but also very firm. It has very prominent ridges around the outside, which when used still, don’t really offer much in the way of sensation. That comes later… The tip of the dildo is tapered which does allow for easy insertion. Due to the firmness of the silicone, I did require a little bit of a warm up before hand, just so I could ensure I was as comfortable as possible. One thing to be aware of, is that the dildo is not anal safe UNTIL it is attached to the drill. It lacks a distinctive enough base to prevent unwanted travel. Thankfully I did have a suction cup attachment to use with it to help make it safer to use.
Once I was happy and relaxed, it was time to attach it to the drill and really see what this was all about. The last time I felt this nervous, I was trying out the F-Machine Gigolo. In that scenario, I was pleasantly surprised with how it all turned out. So I was hoping perhaps we were onto another winner here. Now, as I was on my own, it was a little awkward getting the dildo back inside me, once it was attached to the drill. I had to lay on my side, however with a little bit of wriggling, we were good. I took a few deep breaths, and carefully pressed the trigger, with just enough pressure to turn the bit slowly.
MORE LUBE. Yup, I definitely underestimated the amount of lube needed here. I applied more, reinserted and tried again. On the lowest speed, I noted that the dildo did not really spin round. My ass was a strong force of resistance. I needed to go faster. Pressing my finger a little firmer on the trigger, I braced myself. At the higher speed, we definitely got rotation. And I’ve got to say, it did not feel good. In fact, I will go as far as to say it actually hurt. Perhaps I needed more lube? I drowned that dildo in lube, and my hole too… and tried again. Nope, this definitely feels unpleasant to me. It just felt like it was churning my insides. Spinning and thrusting was even worse. No, I had to stop. This is definitely NOT a sensation that I like, and certainly not something I want to share with my husband (or anyone else!).
Unfortunately, I don’t have a vagina to hand, so I can’t tell you whether it feels any better using it that way. All I can say for certain; there is a reason that I generally don’t put heavy power tools in my asshole. It should have been a given; I shouldn’t have needed to have tried it to be able to tell you for certain. But here we have it. Spinning dildos in my butthole is a major NO NO.
If you break it down into the individual components; we have a fairly decent drill that will be great at putting together that IKEA book case you’ve had your eye on. The dildo is a reasonable size and feels great (when it’s not trying to burrow into your insides), and the douche is a douche. It does the job it was meant to do. But stick everything together? I think we’ve found the line. This is just too much for me. An F-Machine is one thing, but this? This sort of feels reckless. I’m not a fan, and I am really sorry it took so long to put out a review that’s ultimately a disappointment.
Clean-up and Maintenance
The dildo and douche are all made from silicone, so cleaning those after use is easy. The drill… well this is another matter entirely. You need to be super careful, as getting it wet (or covered in lube) is generally not a good idea. And to be honest, keeping lube off the drill is an almost impossible task. However, for any lube that did get on the drill, I just had to carefully wipe it with a barely damp cloth and then dry it with a towel.
As I mentioned earlier, you are supplied with a tool bag to keep all the bits and pieces in, but like, i’m tempted just to toss the drill and drilldo bit out into the garage with all the other tools and DIY paraphernalia. But I very much doubt it will be going anywhere near my ass again.
So, it’s been a long time coming, and after all that, I really did not enjoy this product. And if I have to be completely honest, I kind of suspected that from the day I agreed to review it. I think that’s part of the reason why it took me so long to review it. I don’t like writing negative reviews, but I have to be completely honest and say that this was definitely NOT something I can recommend.
The sensation is very intense, and despite using a hell of a lot of lube, it just felt uncomfortable, and bordered in painful, rather than pleasurable. I would imagine that if you were someone who perhaps runs a little dungeon, and like inflicting pain (or receiving pain?) then perhaps this could be the perfect piece of kit for you. But for casual sex toy enthusiasts and lovers (such as myself), this is definitely a step to far. A thrusting fuck machine is one thing, but a spinning dildo is a little over the top, for my liking.
Where to Buy
If the Drilldo becomes available through any of our trusted retailers, I will update accordingly.
The Drilldo Spiral 6 Pc Collection was sent to us free of charge by Drilldo in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect our thoughts or experiences with this or any other product we receive for review. Affiliate links have not been used in this post.
The Lowdown | Drilldo Spiral 6 Pc Collection
Pros: You get a fully working drill that’s great for putting up shelves. Goggles and Hi-Vis jacket allow you to operate the drill safely. It’s rechargeable too.
Cons: As a sex toy, it completely fails on all accounts. At least, it does for me.
Bottom Line: I think there will be a select number of people who would enjoy this type of product, and this type of stimulation. I’m just not one of them.