And now for something completely different. I never though a strap-on harness would ever be something I would find myself wanting, because you know; there are 2 penises in this relationship. But boy, I have learned something…

When Harmony approached me about doing some reviews for them, I spent ages trawling through all they had to offer. When I saw the Sportsheets Strap-on Thigh Harness, something in me clicked and I thought “Yeah, I kinda want to try that…”. Harmony kindly obliged by sending the harness and a whole host of other goodies for review. But this was one thing I was oddly excited for.

So I won’t keep you hanging around too much, let’s just get straight onto the review…

WARNING: This review contains some graphic descriptions of sex (like, duh… it’s a sex toy review, I know) but I kind of want to warn people in case it’s a bit too much for a review.

I would like to thank Harmony for sending us the Sportsheets Strap-on Thigh Harness free of charge in exchange for an honest review.

First Impressions

The Sportsheets Strap-on Thigh Harness is a very simple concept. It’s a neoprene harness that wraps around the thigh, and has an o-ring built in, so you can slip in your favourite dildos. But why on earth would you want a strap-on that fits onto your thigh? Well… the answer is, quite simple. See, with the harness attached to the thigh, it leaves both the wearer and the receiver’s intimate parts still easily accessible for mutual stimulation. I’ll explain more a bit later…

The packaging is certainly not discreet, featuring a naked couple on the front (no visible genitals) but the black swirly floral pattern and gold foil text sort of still has a ‘classy’ feel to it. The harness is packaged inside a basic plastic bag. The back of the box gives you some…*ahem*… suggestions on how you can use the harness. One of which just looks absolutely hilarious (can you guess which one?). And before you ask, no, we didn’t try that one because neither of us is that flexible.

As I mentioned earlier, it’s made from a stretchy neoprene material that is padded slightly for comfort. It wraps around the thigh and is secured in place with velcro. The straps should stretch to fit ‘most’ thighs. I certainly and would consider my thighs to be a little more on the curvaceous size, and yet it still fit quite comfortably, and there was still room for adjustment. (For full disclosure, around my thigh towards the knee, my leg has a circumference of 20 inches). In theory, it should be able to go up to a circumference of about 23/24 inches.

In Use

So why did I choose this harness? Well, there are a couple of reasons. Firstly, I would say I certainly have a higher sex drive than my partner. And that’s not a bad thing at all. He also has generalised anxiety which has sometimes manifested itself in the bedroom, filling him with doubt and it makes him uncomfortable. Again, it’s not a bad thing. So my initial thoughts would be that a harness would allow us to be intimate together, but without adding any additional pressure on anyone to, well.. perform.

Secondly, neither of us are the skinny twinks we once were, so sometimes, riding each other can be a bit awkward and not always comfortable. I had hoped that by using something like this, we could still maintain a level of intimacy and face to face contact during sex. And you know what, I got everything I wanted and more. But it’s not all perfect. So let’s get the bad out of the way first, so we can focus on the good.

Changing out dildos is a little annoying. The O-Ring has absolutely no stretch, so you will need to remove the harness to put a new dildo in. This can kind of kill the moment slightly. But I worry that if the o-ring was actually stretchier, it may not have held the dildo in place quite as firmly. But still, it was a minor frustration that I think can be forgiven, especially after the amazing sessions this thing has given us! The O-Ring has a diameter of 1.5 inches, so should comfortably fit most dildos up to a 5.5 inch circumference (which is most of my collection, to be fair).

Admittedly, finding the most comfortable position did take a little bit of faffing about, but once we found out the best way for us, we were away. I started off using a slim dildo to get accustomed to the sensation. I sat the Mr on the edge of the bed, and attached the harness to his thigh, just above his knee. As he lay there, I bent down and started suggestively stroking the dildo, and I could see his cock twitch ever so slightly. With a good coating of Sliquid Sassy, I moved into position.

He opened his legs slightly, so I could straddle his leg. I started out facing away from him, so he could see everything. As the dildo slipped inside, I could hear him let out small shrieks of excitement. Afterwards, he said from a visual point of view, he really enjoyed being able to see everything. He propped himself up with a couple of pillows and just watched me do my thing.

It was sort of like giving a really dirty lap dance. I was grinding his thigh whilst the dildo is working it’s magic deep inside. I decided to turn around so I could face him, and I was happy to see he was completely aroused. As I lowered myself back onto the dildo, we were able to kiss and caress each other. He started to tap his foot, making his whole leg shake. This prompted the dildo to really push against my prostate. Oh my god… I thought to myself, as things started to get a little blurry. I had to take a step back. I nearly shot my load right there and then.

He was also relishing every second, as to some extent, he had complete control. After cooling down briefly, I hopped back on. The beauty of the thigh harness meant that both of our cocks were still within easy reach. As i’m riding the cock on his thigh, i’m working over his, and he’s working over mine. He’s tapping his foot again and i’m just in sensory overload. He stops as a little bit of pre-cum leaks from me, and he smiles. “You’re really enjoying that, aren’t you?”.

I’m sweating, and all I can muster is a “uh huh” as he begins to shake his leg again. This time, I can’t hold it, and without touching myself, I shoot a load all over his crotch and belly. This was more than he could take and he orgasmed almost immediately after I did. At this point, I had to collapse on the bed, because my knees completely buckled. Yeah, this is now one of my new favourite things.

Clean-up and Maintenance

The harness is made from neoprene that is machine washable. I washed mine in a sink with some warm soapy water, but for best results, pop it in the washing machine on a cool wash. When finished, I can just store this in a drawer without any worry or hassle.

Summary

So yeah, LOVED this little piece of kit. It’s a simple idea, but executed brilliantly! The material is soft and flexible, making it comfortable for prolonged use (however, in this warmer weather, it can get a bit sweaty underneath!). For our needs, the solid O-Ring didn’t cause a problem, as most of our dildos fit perfectly. Those who like them on the larger side will be disappointed.

I’m really enjoying the new positions that we previously have been unable to try, and it was just so extremely arousing to have him ‘fuck’ me with a dildo, whilst we mutually jacked off. Something we wouldn’t have been able to do, otherwise. I only wish it was perhaps a little bit bigger, as the Mr did find it was a little bit tighter on his thighs, and I would agree that making it approachable for all bodies would be a really good thing. What I do know for certain though, is that this will be seeing a LOT of use. And I think we’re both very excited about that…

Where to Buy

You can pick up the Sportsheets Strap-on Thigh Harness from Harmony for £24.99 (currently on sale for £18.99).

I would like to thank Harmony for sending us the Sportsheets Strap-on Thigh Harness free of charge in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect our experiences or opinion of this or any other product we receive for you review. Affiliate links have been used in this post. Please consider supporting the blog and making your purchases through these links. Thank you!