Hello and Happy New Year TBGR Readers! I hope your 2020 has gotten off to a good start! It might be the Chinese year of the rat, but i’m celebrating the year of the cock. Or at least, the month (or two) as we have a lot of penis toys coming your way over the next couple of weeks!
I do need to kick off this review, by once again apologising for my absence. Blogging is unfortunately not my only job, and Christmas is an extremely busy and stressful time, especially when you work in retail! But we are finally into the new year, and it’s much calmer and quieter; and now I can begin to start focusing on reviewing again. For those of you that haven’t completely abandoned me yet; thank you so much! Anyway… on to the review!
Anyone who knows me, or has followed the blog since the beginning, will know that I absolutely love wand massagers, or anything that’s going to vibrate my junk. When browsing through the vast collection of products at SheVibe; I came across this little device, the Satisfyer Men Wand – as aside from initially being very annoyed by the name, my curiosity was piqued and I wanted to give it a try.
Today’s review is for the latest addition to the irritatingly named Satisfyer Men line of products. This, I believe, is the 4th product to be added to the line up. I don’t understand why companies still insist on needlessly gendering products. Product name aside, I had heard lots of positive reviews for their clitoral products, so I was hoping that the Satisfyer Men Wand would at least prove itself to be a ‘Satisfactory’ acquisition to our collection. Would it actually hit the spot? Let’s find out…
The packaging for the Satisfyer Men Wand is simple; a black box with a couple of simple images of the product. It also features an endorsement by ‘Rocco Siffredi’. A quick google search led me to understand that this is an Italian pornographic actor who has done ‘a few’ movies. Forgive me, my knowledge of cishet porn stars is a little rusty. Inside the box, you’ll find the Wand, a USB magnetic charging cable and a basic instruction leaflet.
The Wand is made from ABS plastic and silicone, and is completely waterproof. It takes around 3 hours to charge, and has an running time of around 60 minutes. The Wand has 5 levels of intensity and 10 different patterns of vibration. The Wand itself is fairly elegant in design. It looks like a mini wand massager, but has 2 flaps on the head, designed to wrap around the shaft. It’s fairly lightweight and comfortable to hold.
On a rare afternoon off, I took myself away into the bedroom, Wand in hand, ready to see what it could do. I hadn’t turned it on before, I wanted to be completely surprised by whatever was about to happen. After getting comfortable on the bed, I slipped the tip of my flaccid shaft in between the flaps and turned the Wand on. Colour me stunned when the lowest setting turned out to be pretty decent! Not the strongest vibration ever, but as this was the first setting, I was quite surprised it was as powerful as it was. And they are deep and rumbly as well; it was definitely living up to the ‘Wand’ name.
After working through the 5 different speeds, my penis was now fully erect, and the flaps were gripping me comfortably. The handle made it easy to twist and slide the Wand up and down, directing the vibrations to wherever I wanted them. Within a few moments, I was reaching orgasm, and it was good! On the second time round, I played around with some of the different settings; they range from your classic pulses to rolling waves. I’m not usually one for patterns on my masturbators; I typically only use the constant vibration function. But I have to admit, the patterns on the Wand feel different to what i’ve experienced on other products. There were definitely patterns I could see myself using again.
I ambushed my husband with the Wand one evening, after he came home from work. As I sat at the table, he came over to ask how my day was. The dining table was strewn with a whole heap of new toys, and without saying a word, I yanked his jeans down and slipped the Wand onto his dick. As he stood next to me, swaying and moaning, gripping onto the back of the chair; the Wand was now on full speed and I was slowly gliding it along the underside of his now throbbing cock. It wasn’t long before he too was shooting his load, whilst trying not to crumple to his knees. We have a winner!
Clean-up and Maintenance
The Wand is super easy to clean, as it’s completely waterproof; you just need to rinse with soap and water and pat it dry. The Wand doesn’t come with a storage bag, which I feel is a necessity for this, as the silicone here seems to be a huge dust magnet! I certainly had to wash it again, prior to taking photos as no soon as I had taken it out of the box, several stray pug hairs decided to make the surface their new home.
So, despite the absolutely terrible name, the Satisfyer Men Wand is, irritatingly, a pretty decent toy. The vibrations are strong, rumbly and the pattern options available are nicely varied. The only downside to the Wand, is that the vibrations are felt so strongly, throughout the whole device. That means during use, my hands are getting a pretty good shake-up; and after a little while, this could leave my hands feeling a little numb. For myself, this hasn’t been a huge issue, as to be honest, it never takes me that long to achieve orgasm here. But something to think about.
The biggest surprise, is the price. You can pick this up for $49.95 (around £38) which for a device of this quality is actually an absolute STEAL. I cannot believe I am actually recommending this, but if you are looking for a vibrating penis toy, and you are on a budget; this could be right up your alley.
Where to Buy
(SheVibe ships to US/CA/UK/AU. Full list of shipping destinations can be seen here)
I would like to thank SheVibe for sending us the Satisfyer Men Wand free of charge in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect our opinions or experience with this or any other product we receive for review. Affiliate links have been used in this post. If you wish to support the blog, please consider using these links when making your purchases. Have a great day!
The Lowdown | Satisfyer Men Wand
Pros: Body Safe, Rechargeable, Strong and Rumbly Vibrations, Affordable
Cons: Vibrations can be felt in the handle, which could become uncomfortable for some.
Bottom Line: The vibrations are strong, feels really good, and it’s surprisingly affordable. For someone looking to jangle their dangly bits on a budget, you can’t go wrong with this.