It’s a shame we’re finishing this week on such a low note; but that’s the life of a sex toy review. Not everything can be a winner. But this is why we do what we do. To be honest, my expectations were fairly low – just because most of my experiences with devices similar to this haven’t always been the best.

But I am always at least a little bit hopeful, and our last experience with a LoveBotz product was quite a successful one – however I appreciate not everyone a machine like that. So when I saw the Auto Milker Intense on the MEO site; I at the very least hoped I’d be able to recommend it as maybe a cheaper alternative or a stepping stone. When it arrived, it certainly had ‘the look’. But once I’d taken the time to charge it up and give it a try… well – let’s not beat around the bush any more. Let’s just dive right in to see why whoever is responsible for suggesting this was ‘Intense’ – needs to find a new thesaurus.

I would like to thank MEO for sending us the LoveBotz Auto Milker Intense free of charge in exchange for an honest review. Affiliate links have been used in this post. 

First Impressions

The Auto Milker Intense is packaged to look like a device from the future; lots of suggestion of metal despite the fact it’s made from standard PU coated ABS plastic. Still, as a device – it does look very techy and it’s surprisingly lightweight for it’s size. Inside the box is the stroker, the instruction manual and the charging cable. To get the product ready for use, it requires a full 2 hour charge which should then give you around an hour of play time.

The sleeve inside is made from squishy TPE and features all sorts of lumps and bumps inside for stimulation. There are 13 functions in total; 3 Speeds of Vibration with 7 patterns, and 3 modes of auto suction. You can also manually control the suction as well. On paper it sounds pretty solid so where did it all go wrong?

In Use

OK, maybe I am being a bit too harsh. It’s absolutely not the worst thing I have tried; but when I compare it to the likes of the Power Blower that we just tried; or even something like the Twijoy Night… it just falls short. But it’s not ALL bad. To give it credit, the canal texture is quite pleasant and has enough space that you can manually stroke with the device without using the vibration or the suction; and still come away with a pretty decent orgasm. A lot of toys similar to this have not allowed me to manually stroke without engaging its other features.

However, as with most similar devices – the vibration feature feels more like an afterthought. And it’s always achieved by some tiny little bullet tucked into the sleeve towards the bottom and it’s always woefully underpowered. At this point, unless you’re going to put something absolutely mind-glowingly powerful in there; just don’t bother. The vibrations are purely incidental at this point and in fact create a distraction, as I lie there desperately trying to eek out some more power (“I’m givin’ her all I got, Captain!”).

The saving grace would be the suction. It has got a pretty decent suction that when used manually – you can really amp up the sensations. The three programmed modes are disappointingly weak. I had far more enjoyment just manually controlling the vacuum; and again, in it’s credit – it’s all controlled by 1 button – which makes building up a nice rhythm much easier. Just press and hold the button and the suction begins – release; and it automatically lets you go. There is a bit of a pause between it releasing you and it starting again, so it still can’t fully replicate a good blow job – but it’s a nice feeling either way.

Clean-up and Maintenance

The toy is waterproof, however the Auto Milker Intense can break down for easy cleaning. The Sleeve can be fully removed and the main body can also be twisted away from the control section to ensure a full and thorough clean. The sleeve is full enclosed, so there hasn’t been any issue with fluids getting caught in the vacuum mechanism. Once it’s fully dry, you can reassemble it and then pop it away til you next want to play.

Summary

So, the Auto Milker Intense… yeah, it’s not the most intense sucking stroker I’ve tried. It’s not the worst but is it really an intense experience – no, not by a long shot. The vibrations are genuinely laughable and really wouldn’t bother with them. The auto suction modes also don’t really do anything for me. The best part is the manual suction control… and to be honest, we’ve just reviewed the Power Blow which does what this does, but better. I’d honestly consider investing in something like that, rather than this. But honestly, it’s up to you – your mileage may vary – but I am not this toys biggest fan.

Where to Buy

You can pick up your Auto Milker Intense 13X Suction Masturbator from MEO.

Not your speed? Check out the latest releases to the ever expanding offerings.

I would like to thank MEO for sending us the LoveBotz Auto Milker Intense free of charge in exchange for an honest review. Affiliate links have been used in this post. If you wish to help support the blog, please consider making your purchases through these links. If not, feel free to share this post with someone you think would enjoy it! Thank you 🙂

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