Sometimes, something might seem like a great idea on paper, but in practice – it’s not always as great as you were hoping.
The ‘Magic Wand’ vibrator has been a revelation in bedrooms up and down the country. With unmatched, intense vibration power; it wasn’t long before attachments were developed to further enhance and expand the vibratory pleasure of the wand. There is everything from g-spot attachments, anal bead attachments – even a male stroker attachment. However, the folks at Wand Essentials decided that it would be a fantastic idea to make an attachment for the wand, to be used with the worlds best-selling male masturbation device – the Fleshlight.
The packaging is a very simple cardboard box, featuring a pictorial guide on how to use the adapter. The adapter itself is wrapped in a plastic bag, and upon opening it – you are greeted with the most horrendous smell – if this was an insertable toy, it would be going straight in the bin. I wouldn’t trust anything that smells THAT bad to be put inside me. But as this wasn’t going to be used like that, I gave it the benefit of the doubt.
Beside the awful chemical smell, the adapter is extremely heavy – in fact it probably weighs as much, if not more, than a fleshlight. I can already forsee a problem. But we’ll get on to that later. It’s also not the prettiest thing. In fact, it almost looks like a bit of drain-pipe. Is that a tad unfair? Maybe – I’m not sure how else you could make it more – visually appealing – but there we are.
I’m not one to shy away from a challenge, so I was still set on giving it a try, even though first impressions were not good. So I got out my Lovehoney Deluxe Magic Wand, plugged it in and got it ready. The first task was getting the attachment onto the wand. With a little bit of lube on the head of the wand, it slipped on relatively easy. Then, it was time to insert the Fleshlight – I was using a Fleshlight Flight – but this will of course take both styles. The Fleshlight slipped into the adapter relatively easy, and once in place it was secure. Very secure. I mean, it wasn’t going anywhere. How on earth was I going to get it out? Well I’ll deal with that later…
Now this is where the whole thing falls apart. By the time you have put this all together – this thing now weighs a ridiculous amount. You have to operate with 2 hands, and even then it’s a awkward. You must make sure that you hold both the wand and the Fleshlight – if you just hold the wand, the Fleshlight could damage the neck of the wand due to it’s weight. However, in the name of science, I continued to try and see if I could find someway of getting it to work.
Holding it wasn’t really an option – it was too bulky. I resorted to resting the Fleshlight on the foot of the bed, held it down with one hand, and held onto the wand in the other hand, so I could sort of… thrust… into it. This felt so un-natural. So now it was time to turn on the vibrations. Now the deluxe wand makes a fair bit of noise when it’s switched on. With this attachment, it was even louder. It sounded like someone was drilling tarmac. The worst part, was that the despite the wand kicking out some serious vibrations – this thick drain-pipe of an attachment was not transferring the vibrations to the Fleshlight AT ALL. Even on it’s highest setting, I felt no more than just a feint tingle. It was at this point that I gave up.
Then came the tricky part. Removing the Fleshlight from the adapter was damn near impossible. Whatever material this thing is made of, gripped that masturbator INCREDIBLY tight. I thought I was going to break it! After 15 minutes gentle coaxing – it finally came out. Taking it off the wand was slightly easier – that only took 5 minutes.
Clean-up and Maintenance
Once you have finished, simply put it back in it’s box and throw it away. (or send it back for a refund, if possible). Luckily I was sent this as a sample, so it’s not an issue for me. But seriously, this is better off in the rubbish – it’s shockingly bad.
Well I really don’t think I’ve ever used anything quite as ridiculous or as stupid as this. I think if the adapter was actually designed more like a Fleshlight CASE – and all you needed to do was put in your favourite Fleshlight insert – then it might be a bit better – but bearing in mind how big they are, I just don’t think it will ever be a good idea. A complete and utter failure.
The Lowdown | Wand Essentials Vibrating Wand Adapter for Fleshlight
DUD of 2014
I really just cannot stress how ridiculous this product with – just trying to come up with the rating criteria was painful.