So one thing that I secretly love giving (and receiving) is a good old fashioned rim job.
I love to eat ass (and have my ass eaten). But for many, it’s still quite a taboo practice in the bedroom. But in reality, Rimming (or Anilingus if you want to get all Harvard about it) is an extremely sensual practice that can be incredibly intimate for both the rimmer and the rimmee. It can also be used as the ultimate humiliation if you have a type of dom/sub relationship that enjoys using humiliation as an aspect.
I was very nervous the first time I was rimmed, and even more so the first time I actually ate someone else’s ass out. Is there a right way to do it? How should I prepare? Should I bring salad dressing? I will do my best to answer all these questions galore, as I give you my own personal guide to eating ass.
NOTE: I don’t profess to being a sex expert or anything like that. The guides I write for the blog are based off of my own experiences, utilising what I like, and what I like to do.
SO DAVID, I THOUGHT ‘RIMMING’ WAS WHEN YOU PUT THE SUGAR ROUND A COCKTAIL GLASS?
Well, to some extent, you are right! But in this case, we are talking about the sensual art of Anilingus (sometimes mis-spelt as Analingus). It comes from the latin ‘anus’ + ‘lingere’ (to lick). The general purpose of rimming, is to stimulate the anus of the receptive partner, using the tongue/lips and in some cases, teeth.
IS IT A GAY THING?
Rimming was brought into the mainstream, in huge part, I believe, because of Russell T. Davies and his brilliant series ‘Queer as Folk‘. If you haven’t seen it, you must find it. Brilliant story and yes, the rimming scene is HOT (IMO). So yeah, it’s a popular activity for cis gay males, but it’s not exclusive. Anyone with a tongue and an arsehole can enjoy a good old rim job; and it’s popularity is on the rise.
IS IT SAFE?
With any sexual practice, there is always an element of risk. Rimming is no different. You have to remember what area of the body you are dealing with, and if you don’t take proper precautions, you can run the risk of catching a sexually transmitted disease. In all my years munching on booty, I have never suffered any ill effects. If you follow my few basic tips, you can reduce your risk of any problems. And this is what i’m here to do today – to put your mind at rest, to ensure that the next time you rim or are rimmed, you can be certain that it will be a safe and enjoyable experience.
So, let’s get on with it, shall we?
PREPARATION
If you’ve read my guide to anal sex, you will probably be familiar with what I am about to propose. If not, I’ll take it nice and slow.
Firstly, if you want to get into rimming, then discuss it with your partner. It’s never a good idea to spring this on someone without at least a prior discussion – it can get very awkward otherwise (but I’m not a relationship counsellor). Once you’ve agreed that rimming is an activity you want to bring into the bedroom, you can now prep yourself.
It’s always a good idea to ensure you are clean below. In theory, a good shower and rinse should be enough to minimise the likelihood of oral-fecal contact. This is where the risk is involved. It is possible for parasites and other nasty bugs to be passed on to the active partner if things are not clean down below. A nice shower or bath will reduce that risk.
Should you wish to go a little bit further, then feel free to douche – if anything, this will give you additional peace of mind that things are all hunkydory down below.
TAKE IT SLOW
Don’t just rush in to the main event. You want to take it slow, to ensure both of you get maximum pleasure out of the experience. Remember, when it comes to sex, it’s a 2-way street – it’s a bit of give and take!
When you are ready, if you are the receiver, get yourself into a comfortable position. This could be on your back with your legs raised (a pillow or two under the hips can make this easier) or the easiest (and probably my favourite position) is simply on your knees, with your arms flat against the bed, ass right up in the air. Not only does this open up the butt, but it also gives your partner a fantastic view.
If you are the one giving, then take some time to ‘warm up’ the area. Start by caressing the buttocks, kiss and nibble around the cheeks. For me, I like to be teased – even just applying light breath to my hole before a lips or tongue even touch it, is enough to drive me wild. It’s the build up, anticipation that’s just as exciting as the main event. Listen to your partners moans, and watch how their body reacts – this is a good key to know that what you are doing is turning them on.
“WOULD YOU LIKE SAUCE ON THAT?”
Flavoured lubricants can really help enhance the experience for everyone. Not only does it help make things nice and slippery (which can lead on to lots of other naughty activities) but for those who may be a bit ‘squeamish’ about the taste of ass (which is totally understandable) then it can really help make it more enjoyable. I would, however, like to point out that a freshly clean butt tastes great.
Should you chose to go down the lube route, do remember to be sparing though, you don’t want it to get too sticky, especially if you are the kind of person who wants to just bury their face deep in that ass. My current favourite flavoured lubes come from Lovehoney. Not only do they taste great, but they are super slippery, so once things ‘heat up’, you can dive in with a dildo/finger/penis relatively easily. And for me, that’s what I love about being rimmed… Anyway, moving on…
TECHNIQUE, TECHNIQUE, TECHNIQUE!
Firstly, I apologise that I could not come up with a funny or interesting picture to illustrate this point. I was going to take a selfie with my tongue stuck up my ‘model’s ass – but I was already scaring Elphie with the dismembered lump of cyberskin that was now sitting on the sofa.
When it comes to technique, there really is no right or wrong way – it’s all about communication, and working with your partner to find out what they like. For me, when it comes to rimming, I like to start our with gentle circular motions around the hole, very gently. Running your tongue right over the hole, towards the coccyx is another way to get me shuddering (I am very sensitive round there!).
Make figure 8 motions around the hole and then finish by running the tongue straight over. When you are feeling a bit more daring, and your partner is relaxed, you can then start working your tongue into their ass. At this point, you can get your whole mouth involved and start kissing, sucking and nibbling the area (just do be careful if you choose to use your teeth! Remember where you are!). Again, listen to your partner – you’ll know if what you are doing is working.
DON’T FORGET THE BALLS!
If the receiving parter is blessed with a set of lovely testicles, then you can really enhance the experience by remembering to include their balls and perineum during play. During arousal, these areas will be come super-sensitive. Consider starting at the base of the spine, and running the tongue all the way over the butt, and then continuing up over the testicles, and then massaging the perineum with your tongue. You can even get your hands involved and you can be groping/massaging/fondling the balls whilst your mouth gets to work on the ass.
At the end of the day, just get creative!
If you happen to be rimming your partner with a vagina, NEVER go from ass to vagina. Nuh-uh. No. Just stop. It feels like this should be common sense – but if you need me to spell it out… if there happens to be even the smallest amount of bacteria present, if introduced to the vagina, it can lead to urinary tract infections – and then your friend will probably never speak to you again. So just be careful, OK?
WHAT ABOUT DENTAL DAMS?
Dental Dams are small, square pieces of latex that are placed over the anus before engaging in anal/oral sex. I have personally never used them myself, but if you want additional peace of mind, these could be an option. As with condoms, they are still susceptible to failure. If you have reason to doubt cleanliness etc – just don’t take the risk. As with any sexual activity, it’s all about trust and communication.
WHAT ELSE SHOULD I CONSIDER?
To be honest, I think I’ve covered most things. A lot of other guides I’ve seen will tell you to make sure you are waxed/shaven/bleached and to be honest, I think that’s completely unnecessary. I have rimmed a hairy ass before, and aside from a stray pube, it was fine. Sometimes it’s unavoidable.
As long as you have taken the advice above, feel free to chow down as much as you like.
So what do you reckon? Do you like to rim/be rimmed? Do you have any other advice you think our readers should consider before venturing into the sensual pleasures of anilingus?
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