It’s very rare that a Sex toy can completely baffle me with it’s incompetence. I would absolutely pay anything to be a fly on the wall when the idea for today’s review item was pitched. And then I’d like to gently take them to one side and then say ‘NO’ and then boop them on their snoot.
Because the Cal Exotics Optimum Power Masturball just fails to elicit any kind if positive reaction from me. The design is… unique, I will give it that. But as a functioning Sex toy, designed to bring me to the point of orgasmic bliss; just fails to deliver on all fronts. So let’s not waste any more time and just get this over and done with, because I’d quite like to move on.
How can I describe the Masturball quickly? It looks like… a hamster ball you can stick your dick in. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a spherical masturbator before and in all honesty; I hope to never see one again. The packaging is pretty basic, but on par with packaging for other Cal Exotics items we’ve reviewed in the past. Inside the box, you will find the Masturball, a charging cable and an instruction manual.
The Masturball features a dual-ended design; pop out the magnetic caps and you’ll be greeted by two different openings. You do need to remove BOTH caps to use, as they basically join together. One side features lots of textured nodules, and vibrates. The other side contracts to mimic when a vagina or butt clenches around your member. The internal canal is made from slightly see-through TPE whilst the main body is ABS plastic. The Masturball requires a full charge before use; around 2.5 hours. This will give you about an hour of play time. It’s also waterproof, allowing for easy clean-up after use.
I think this might win the award for most disappointing product of 2023 so far. Skipping past the slightly unwieldy ball design (which I still maintain looks like a hamster ball); the sensation that the Masturball offers is just… almost non-existent. Let’s start with the vibrations. The packaging claims there are ’10 independent functions of vibration, pulsation and escalation’. That’s a long winded way of saying ’10 speeds of nothing’ but go off. There are 3 ‘speeds’ and then 7 ‘patterns’. On its top ‘speed’, it is incredibly buzzy and extremely high pitched. It’s almost unbearable. Or at least it would be, if they actually transferred through the textured sleeve. There is the most subtle of tickles. If it wasn’t for the noise, I’d think I’d forgotten to turn them on. Not a good start.
So let’s try the contractions. When I was playing around with the unit in my hand, and I stuck my fingers in, it seemed to have a decent grip so I was quietly confident that this could be where it redeems some points. But alas, no – even the contractions just don’t quite really do anything. When fully inserted into the Masturball, I can barely feel anything. If I position it closer towards the tip of my penis, it just fails to really apply any pressure on to my penis at all. You also lose *any* sensation the vibrations might be giving you.
It’s also an absolute pain to hold. I’ve got fairly large hands, and I can just about hold it in one hand. But it’s not very comfortable and it’s surprisingly heavy. It’s definitely a double-handed grip and truthfully, that’s not my masturbation style. I tried on several occasions to make this work for me, and I just couldn’t orgasm with it. Which is a shame, because if you strip it down to its basic elements; the vibrations and contractions should be a winner; we’ve used similar devices that give us good results. But here, it just doesn’t feel like it’s been implemented well at all. And we end up with a device that looks straight out of a pet store.
Clean-up and Maintenance
As I mentioned, the Masturball is waterproof, so clean-up is really easy. The internal canal is pretty textured, so extra care should be taken to ensure all nooks and crannies have been cleaned; and you will want to make sure it’s fully dry before reattaching the magnetic caps and storing it away. No storage bag, but given this isn’t going into my regular toy rotation; that’s not such a bad thing.
I have to confess; from the beginning – I had a suspicion I wasn’t going to like this. But I’ve also learnt in the past that sometimes looks can be deceiving. Hence why we should never really judge a book by it’s cover. Sadly, on this occasion, my concerns were right on the money and the Masturball left me exasperated and annoyed.
The design isn’t the most user-friendly, and if I struggle to hold it with my giant bear hands; then goodness help anyone else. The vibrations are, to put it bluntly, a joke. I had hoped that the contractions would at least be able to save it a little, but that ended up disappointing me most of all. I’m sorry to report, but this is a ‘avoid at all costs’.
Where to Buy
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I would like to thank MEO for kindly sending us the Cal Exotics Optimum Power Masturball free of charge in exchange for an honest review. Affiliate links have been used in this post. If you wish to help support the work that we do, please consider making your purchases through these links. It helps keep the blog running and the content coming! Thank you 🙂
The Lowdown | Cal Exotics Optimum Power Masturball
Pros: Umm… it’s relatively quiet?
Cons: Vibrations and Contractions are… sub-par. The size and shape make it awkward to hold.
Bottom Line: A complete disappointment. It just does absolutely nothing for me. Of course, your mileage may vary but… I just think there are better options for devices that over this sort of sensation.