Pipedream Extreme ‘Fuck My Cock’ Masturbator

Being a sex toy review can be hard (pun intended). Whilst I generally tend to prefer the higher quality, luxurious items – I know that not all of my readers can afford to spend £150 on a prostate massager or £60 on a masturbator. So I need to explore the cheaper alternatives for those who are on a budget. But this is not without it’s problems.

Pipedream are a company who have received some mixed press in regards to some of their products (which I’m not going to get into here), meaning some bloggers will not touch their products. However, I personally enjoy their ‘Icicles’ range of Glass Dildos – and I can’t very well stand here and tell you to not consider purchasing Pipedream toys, when I’ve lauded over their glass products. So regardless of what you or I may think of a company, I’m basing my review on the pure aesthetic and function of the toy, rather than anything else.

This was also sent to me by sextoys.co.uk in exchange for an honest review – and that is what I’m going to do.

First Impressions

So the packaging is very… erm, well it doesn’t beat around the bush. Featuring a naked man and phrases such as ‘I’m spread open and ready’, “I love a good ol’ pump & dump!” and “Go bareback and fill me up!”. Classy. The toy is made from FantaFlesh which is their own-brand TPE. It’s very soft and stretchy – but the first thing I noted when I took this out of the box to have a closer look was the smell. It was intense. Almost like burnt rubber. In fact, it stunk out the kitchen after opening it for the first time.

I decided to see if I could remove some of the smell by soaking it in some water for an hour along with a bucket load of soap and other nice-scented things – and it worked. Not terribly well, but the smell was reduced, and has reduced with subsequent washes – but even after 7 washes, there is still a smell that lingers.

Inside the box, you also get a sample bottle of moist water-based lubricant and toy cleaner. The toy consists of a 7″ ‘shaft’ which is lined on the inside with a series of tight ribs and rings. The ‘base’ of the toy is shaped to look like a man bending over. The canal has diameter of just under half an inch and is incredibly tight.

In Use

I was a little anxious about using this, for some reason – but my husband was keen to just sit back and watch me use it – so after getting myself in the mood, I lubed up with a good dose of Liquid Silk and began to plunder the depths. Initially, it was a little tricky getting inside as the canal entrance is quite tight. I’m not overly girthy (5.5 inches) but it did take a few minutes of wriggling it about before I was finally able to get in.

Once inside, the canal clung very tightly to my shaft, and I’m not going to lie, it felt fairly pleasant. The other half seemed to be really getting off watching me use it – his words afterwards “Well it’s definitely a treat for the eyes, watching you fill that up” – and I have to admit, knowing he was so turned on got me aroused even more, and so it spurred me on to ensure that I got the best out of it.

Unfortunately, things slowly started to unravel. It appeared that after only a few uses, the sleeve was starting to show signs of deterioration. There were small splits in the TPE along the shaft, around the canal entrance (on the ‘buttocks’) and the sleeve failed spectacularly during use – a small hole must have formed in the end, because I gave long push into the sleeve, and suddenly, Liquid Silk was spurting out of the tip – and because of it’s white colour, it looked like I had just spunked right through the toy. It caught me by surprise, and certainly caught the other half by surprise – and despite the fact it’s not supposed to do that – he really enjoyed the ‘added realism’ that we managed to achieve. But after finishing off and taking a closer look, there was a huge split in the end. Not good.

Admittedly, up until that point, the sleeve was stimulating me enough, and it brought me to an orgasm, but I was disappointed that the sleeve had become rough after so few uses. That’s not what I expect from my toys.

Clean-up and Maintenance

Clean-up is a complete bitch, I’m not going to lie. Officially, the toy is supposed to have a closed end, which I imagine would make this thing IMPOSSIBLE to clean. As it is, mine now had a hole at the end which made it somewhat easier, but not by a long shot. It’s really difficult to flush out the inside, without getting your fingers right in there, and it’s practically impossible trying to turn the sleeve inside out to give it a good clean on the inside. This also means that drying the inside is a difficult task and as yet, I’ve been unable to dry it fully because I can’t get a cloth inside, and leaving it to air-dry is not working (2 days later and it’s STILL wet on the inside). This does not bode well as it means bacteria can harbour inside the canal which means it will start to smell even worse and will deteriorate quicker. And you thought a Fleshlight was difficult to maintain!

Summary

I always feel bad when I have to write a negative review, especially when a company has been generous enough to send it out in the first place – but at the same time, I would be doing myself (and the company) a disservice if I didn’t tell you what I honestly thought – that’s why you come here – and truthfully, I don’t think I can recommend this toy at all.

Initially it feels good and you know, I don’t doubt it would get me off every time – but the fact remains that it has a long lingering smell that can be off-putting, seems to break down really easily and is incredibly difficult to clean and dry. It all adds up to one monumental failure as a toy.

If you still want to give this toy a try, you can order it directly now from Sextoys.co.uk. Don’t forget to use the code BIGGAY10 to save 10% off the purchase price of this toy, or anything else in their extensive range! All with discreet and quick delivery too.

This toy was sent to me free of charge in exchange for my honest review. This does not in any way affect my thoughts or opinions on this or any other product I may receive for review. All thoughts and opinions are 100% my own, honest thoughts and experiences. Affiliate links have been used within this post.