L’Amourose Paramour Pour Homme Pleasure Set

There comes a time when you review a sex toy and it totally blows your mind. And you wonder why it’s taken so long to come into existence. Then there are times when you question life, it’s existence and it makes you angrily throw it across the bedroom. Unfortunately, this is the latter in this instance.

And it’s an absolute shame, because L’Amourose have created some truly wonderful and beautiful toys. When we reviewed the Rosa back in 2014, it totally changed my outlook on toys in general, and so far, nothing has matched it’s greatness (although some have come very close). The Prism V, whilst it wasn’t a massive success for me on a personal level – it’s still been well received amongst the blogging community, and I concur – it’s a well made product and truly shows an understanding of what people want when it comes to pleasure.

Which is why it’s a massive shame that this review is going to be a negative one – because I know L’Amourose are capable of so much more. They reached out to be a while back and asked if I would be interested in reviewing their original Paramour Pleasure Partners set. I unfortunately turned them down back then, and instead reviewed the Rosa Rouge. The reason being that 2 out of the 3 items in the set were for vaginal use. Neither myself nor my husband could help there. But last year, L’Amourose revealed they were working on a ‘Pour Homme’ set for the discerning penis owner, and just before christmas, they sent me the set for review along with the Prism V. We were going on holiday at the beginning of January – a perfect opportunity to try it all out.

? oh wow! Thank you @Pasantecondoms and @L_amourose for the presents/review items!! So excited! pic.twitter.com/7j0Qqz89uz

— The Big Gay Review (@thebiggayreview) December 18, 2015

The Paramour Pleasure Pour Homme Set was kindly sent to me by L’Amourose via Pasante free of charge in exchange for an honest review. 

First Impressions

If there is one thing that L’Amourose can get right consistently, it’s their packaging. It’s always very well thought out and put together, and this is no exception. The outside box is sleek, and black and reminiscent to the packaging for the Rosa (as this is also part of their ‘Black Diamonds’ range of products). Inside the box, you’ll find a smaller cardboard box imprinted with ‘Accessories’ on the top. This holds things like your charging cable, storage bag, warranty card and instruction manual. In the second box, you’ll find your Paramour Set tucked away neatly inside a sturdy keep sake box, like a saucy box of chocolates.

The Paramour Pour Homme Pleasure Set consists of a rechargeable ‘bullet’ vibrator (although it looks more like a pebble), a remote control which doubles up as a snazzy little charging dock and 3 silicone cradles which hold the bullet. They are the CLARK, the LEO and the ROY. CLARK is your typical cock ring, whilst LEO is a designed to wrap around the penis and provide stimulation and ROY is an insertable ‘prostate’ massager.

The Bullet measures 2.5 inches in overall length and has a circumference of 3.5 inches. It’s fully waterproof allowing you to have fun in the bath or shower (and it makes clean-up and absolute breeze at the end). There are 5 vibration modes, a ‘Touch’ mode and a Memory mode (more on that later). The Paramour is capable of 12 speeds and the remote control is responsive up to a distance of around 16 metres. The vibrations are moderately strong, and whilst rumbly, there is an element of buzziness on the higher speeds, but I was fairly impressed with it’s power compared to it’s size.

The Paramour Bullet will require charging before use, and a 1.5 hour charge should provide around 1 hour of play time. You can charge the bullet in 2 ways. As I mentioned earlier, the remote control doubles as a charging dock. Simply turn it upside down, place the bullet on the dock and then insert the charging cable. It’s USB so you can charge it up via a laptop or PC, however they do provide a 3 pin UK plug adapter so you can charge it via the wall in the normal way.

They also provide a mini adapter for if you just want to charge the bullet on its own. However, the manual advises for optimal charging, it’s best to charge both the remote and the bullet together, and I would definitely agree it’s much easier that way.

So how is it in use? Well  let’s delve in deeper, shall we?

In Use

Setting up the bullet is incredibly easy. Once both the remote and the bullet are charged, simply press and hold the button on the side of the bullet for a few seconds. On the bullet, a small LED light embedded in the button will stay permanently on, indicating it is ready. To then pair it with the remote, simply just press the power button on the remote, and the bullet should buzz into life on it’s first setting – which is a constant speed.

The remote as a touch pad – pressing the top of the pad will increase the intensity, whilst pressing towards the bottom will reduce the intensity. You can ‘scrub’ your finger over the pad (like you do on an iPod/iPhone) creating a more fluid transition between intensities. On the right hand side of the remote, is the function button. Pressing this will cycle you through the 5 different patterns it has – all of which pretty much feel very similar.

Pressing the function button again switches it into ‘Touch’ mode – admittedly a bit of a gimmick. The intensity of vibrations is controlled by the speed in which you move your finger over the touch pad. Gentle, slow movements have the bullet buzzing on it’s lowest speed, whilst faster, erratic movements increase the speed up to it’s more intense levels. We found it a bit ‘hit and miss’ and wasn’t as responsive as we would have liked. It’s not a feature I found myself using a fair bit.

The Memory function, however was slightly more fun. On the left hand side of the remote, is the M button. If you press and hold this down for a few seconds, the remote will start to blink. It’s now in record mode. For 10 seconds, your motions on the touch pad are recorded, so you can create your own pattern. Once the 10 seconds is over, the pattern will then play on repeat until you turn it off. It’s a shame it can’t store the patterns, but it’s lots of fun just playing around and seeing what you can create.

So let’s talk about the cradles. We’ll start with CLARK the cock ring.

Vibrating cock rings are not something we normally use, however in the interest of covering all the bases, we had to give it a try. The ring has an un-stretched diameter of just over an inch. It does stretch, however… not very much! I wouldn’t say I am under-equipped, nor massively well endowed – I have a comfortable 5.5 inch circumference. However, even I found this to be rather tight and restrictive  – far more than it should be. It took a lot of lube and some patience to slip this one on.

Now, neither of us have a vagina or clitoris to test this on, however when worn for anal, the bullet can come into contact with the perineum and provides a nice tickle for the receiver (hence why I sometimes pop them on a dildo to spice things up). Unfortunately, I could only wear the ring for around 10 minutes before it felt like it was constricting my penis, and it felt like it was going to explode (and not in an ‘OH MY GOD, YES!’ sort of way). I swear, when it came off, I could hear my penis breath a sigh of relief.

Maybe the LEO would be more enjoyable. The bullet slips out of, and into each new cradle with ease. The bullet has this indented rim around the outside, whilst the cradles have raised bumps on the inside which holds the bullet in relatively securely. I applied a little bit of lube to the inside of the LEO and slipped it over the end of my penis. Not sure what I was expecting, but I was hoping it was going to be a little more than what I was currently feeling.

LEO doesn’t hug the penis tightly, it’s more of a gentle grasp. With that in mind, the vibrations were only providing a very gentle sensation. When gripped with my hand, to ensure a tighter fit, I found it was my hand that was benefitting from all the vibrations. The LEO is just not putting those vibrations in the spot that I really want them to be. I thought perhaps I was being to sensitive, so I passed it all over to my husband so he could give it a try.

“Is that it?” he said, as he slipped it over the end of his penis. I could see him squeezing it and frantically scrubbing at the remote, as if trying to will more power, more feeling from it – but failing. Miserably. He agreed that whilst there was a light sensation (that wasn’t horrible) – it just wasn’t enough. Even on the highest setting, it was his hand getting all the vibrations and it just wouldn’t be enough to bring on an orgasm. So it was with a heavy heart, I removed the bullet from LEO and tossed him across the room.

Perhaps ROY would be able to save the day? Well, in short – no. No he couldn’t. For several reasons. Firstly, ROY is touted as a robust prostate massager (L’Amourose’s words, not mine) and as the little tiny bullet sat in my hand, I couldn’t help but laugh. There is no way in hell this is going to ‘massage’ my prostate. But in the interest of science, I still persevered. I know, i’m so brave.

Unfortunately, as predicted, it’s a wash-out. Firstly, the finger loops is just too small, so much so that I did not feel comfortable using it. If my finger slipped out, my ass would have swallowed the whole thing. It just doesn’t feel terribly safe. Also, as predicted, it does not provide any prostate stimulation, and whilst the vibrations feel nice in an off-hand sort of way, it just wasn’t doing anything for me. At all. I’m sorry ROY, it’s just never going to happen.

Also, because of all the ridges and flaps where the bullet slips into the cradle, it means that when it comes to removing… unless you are absolutely squeaky clean down there, it can be a bit… well, rank. It’s a cleaning nightmare. Speaking of which…

Clean-up and Maintenance

The bullet and all the cradles are fairly easy to clean – simply rinse them with water and toy cleaner and they will be as good as new. The cradles could even be boiled or even put in the dishwasher if you so wished. Just don’t put the bullet or remote in there. They are best cleaned with a damp cloth and toy cleaner. As L’Amourose are kind enough to provide a storage bag, it can all be popped in together, ready for next time. The silicone is a dust magnet though, so a rinse before your next use wouldn’t go amiss.

Summary

I had so desperately wanted to like this, but ultimately I got my hopes sky high and was then just completely underwhelmed by the whole experience. There’s some interesting ideas here, but it just doesn’t feel as well executed as their other products. The CLARK could be a good little cock ring, if it was just slightly bigger and not as restrictive. I can’t think of many people who would be able to use it comfortably.

LEO was my biggest disappointment. I had hoped it would offer PULSE II style sensations, but ultimately it was just so weak. I’m not even sure how you could improve it. Perhaps if there was some sort of texture on the inside of the flaps, it might make it slightly more interesting overall as a masturbation sleeve – but as a head stimulator, it just wasn’t guiding enough of those vibrations to the sensitive spots.

As for ROY, well, he should just go completely. Or at least be redesigned into something else. I like the idea of a smaller, insertable toy – perhaps maybe a butt plug style, with a safer base could make it more appealing. But in it’s current form, it offers little in the way of prostate stimulation, and I just don’t feel safe using it. As it stands, I really have difficulty recommending this set to anyone, which is an absolute shame.

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