I am so behind with my reviews, it’s not even funny. Things have been busy with work, and other things going on at home, i’m just not finding the time – but I have a couple of free weekends and a few more week days available to me, so this should hopefully mean I can start to rattle through these much quicker.
Today’s review, is the second product I received from Blush Novelties in exchange for an honest review. So without further ado, let’s just get straight into it, so I can get back to testing out more toys!
I first of all want to apologise by saying that I wasn’t able to take all of the regular photo’s that I would have done. It’s just, well there was a little accident, you see…
So the next review I post won’t have any packaging shots… A certain somebody got hold of it…. I don’t know how. pic.twitter.com/5mJRTBa6fv
— The Big Gay Review (@thebiggayreview) May 13, 2015
I would also like to point out that it WASN’T me. Whilst I was looking forward to giving it a try, the packaging wasn’t that difficult that I had to tear my way into it with my teeth. I’m looking at YOU Elphie! But in essence, the toy arrives in a small plastic clamshell case that’s VERY easy to get into, but not dog-proof. Perhaps that’s something companies need to look into when they design packaging now? I don’t know…
Inside, is the ProStimulator and 4 LR44 button cell batteries for the included bullet vibrator. FOUR batteries? Jeez, this thing must be a little powerhouse! It measures 5 inches overall and has a circumference of 3.75 inches at it’s widest point. It features a pronounced, rounded tip and is on the thin, slender side, rather than being nice and round. The sleeve is made from 100% silicone and has a pleasant soft, silky feel.
The provided bullet has 7 functions – 2 constant speeds and 5 patterns. The vibrations are on the shallower, buzzier side, however they appeared to travel well through the silicone. I have to admit, after feeling how buzzy the vibrations were, I was a little disappointed, and all ready for it to not hit the right mark.
And on my first couple of uses, it didn’t really do much for me. Firstly, it’s lacking in girth – as i’ve gotten used to playing with slightly larger toys, I was missing that really full feeling that I now enjoy. However, I tried to put that at the back of my mind, and remind myself that the Helix Syn was also a ‘narrow’ toy, but had helped me achieve some wonderful results – so I put my fears aside and tried to get on with it.
Now when I lay on my back, if I clench and relax, then I get a similar sensation to the helix. With a generous helping of water-based lube, it moves with relative ease, and admittedly, the larger rounded tip found the prostate with relative ease. However, when the vibrations were introduced, things went south a little too quickly.
Because those vibrations are on the much ‘buzzier’ side, rather than the deeper, rumblier vibrations that I prefer – I was getting more of a ‘tickle’ than anything else. I could feel it wanting to do something, but it was falling short each time. I was laying there going “Come on… just do something… anything…” but my ass was having none of it. “You know how we like it, David…”. So with a heavy heart, I cut my play time short.
I was a little disappointed, and all ready for it to not hit the right mark.
You know the problem here, don’t you? Now i’ve been spoilt by the incredible vibrations from the We-Vibe Tango, any other bullet out there just doesn’t cut it. The Tango is the KING of bullets, which is why whenever I have a toy powered by a bullet, the included bullet gets promptly thrown away, and the Tango is jammed in there. So that is what I did here.
HOLY FUCK BALLS. What a difference that made. The shape of the toy is comfortable and was hitting the right notes, but now with the added horsepower of the Tango, the lower half of my body was now twitching and twerking in delight as it piledrives my prostate into submission. Now I was all sweaty and breathless, and needed to try and put my final thoughts together.
Clean-up and Maintenance
The packaging says the toy is waterproof. I have to admit to not testing how waterproof the bullet is, as I generally don’t play in the bath/shower all that often – and to be fair, I always remove the bullets and just give them a wipe anyway. The silicone sheath however can be rinsed/boiled/bleached safely. You don’t get a storage bag, but it’s safe to store with other toys – although like silicone does, it attracts little bits of dust/fluff/dog hair… so if you have a spare little storage bag floating around, it might be useful.
OK, so where do we sit here with this? Well, i’m on the fence, really. Out of the packet, as it is – it does miss a few of the marks. The included bullet is far too buzzy for my tastes, and didn’t provide the deeper stimulation my ass has come to know and love. The shape is comfortable, if a little on the shallow side (again, for my own personal taste) but I think as a beginner toy, it’s got the right dimensions. Using it like the Helix appears to be the way to go, and if it was designed as a non-vibrating massager, then i’d probably give it a higher score – but where this is obviously designed as a vibrating toy, it misses the mark – until you whack a Tango in there – and as much as I love doing that, it’s not the answer as not everyone owns a Tango…(although you REALLY should).
Check out the Prostimulator over at Blush Novelties now!
This item was sent to me free of charge by Blush Novelties in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my thoughts or opinions on this or any other product I review for this blog. All experiences written here are 100% honest and my own.
The Lowdown | Blush Novelties Performance Pro-Stimulator
Pro’s: Body Safe, Waterproof.
Cons: Vibrations are very buzzy, not overly strong. Small girth left me wanting more.
Bottom Line: It didn’t do much for me, but if you are looking for a less-intimidating toy to get into prostate massage, this might be suitable for you.