As an avid user of sex toys, I have an ever-growing collection, that is now currently over-flowing the toy box and spilling out on to the bedroom floor.

Masturbators are probably the only type of toy that gets almost regular usage, as it’s the only type my husband enjoys using. With this in mind, I am always looking for something new and exciting to switch things up a little bit – but sometimes, different and new isn’t always a good thing…

I purchased this based on the glowing review of a fellow member of the Lovehoney community. It was to make up part of my super-sexy-anniversary-weekend-sex-box that we were taking on holiday with us (as me and the husband celebrated our ten year anniversary together in April this year). I figured as we were going to be alone and secluded in a romantic cabin, surrounded by trees and nature, what a better place to get ‘naughty’. So did it ‘blow’ me away…?

First Impressions

Please note: This review has been modified since it’s initial posting on Lovehoney to reflect further additional usage with this toy. 

The packaging is very basic – a simple cardboard box containing pictures of the toy. For Pipedream, this is quite tasteful – aside from the dildo on the front, there is no scantily clad models, no overly explicit language. When you first take the product out of the box, and look at it – you can’t help but sit there and think “What the actual f…”. It doesn’t look like a sex toy at all. I also noticed that it really didn’t look like what was on the box – the photo’s of the toy made it look like it had a soft, matte feel, kind of like silicone – but actually the sleeve is made from shiny ‘skin-safe’ rubber.

The Teazer is made up of 2 ‘parts’. You have the stimulating sleeve which has 2 openings – the main textured chamber where you insert your penis, and then the second opening where you insert the vibrating love egg. This is a 7 function vibrating egg that has a 29.5″ cord attached to it. I kind of wish the cord had been a little bit longer (or even been wire-free) but for what it was, it was enough to play with.

How to use

To get started, you need to use 2 x AA batteries, then insert the vibrating egg into the sleeve. To operate, push the button on the remote once, and this will send it buzzing into life. Each new press of the button cycles the egg through it’s 7 vibrating modes. To switch off, just hold the button down and eventually it will turn off.

To use, you’ll need to apply a good helping of lubricant to both yourself and the inside of the sleeve. However, I did notice if you used just a little too much lube, then the actual sleeve had a habit of wanting to just pop right off – and then getting it back on with lube-covered fingers is not terribly easy.

The vibrations in the bullet, are fairly strong and powerful, and to my surprise, it did feel like it was sending pleasurable sensations through the entire length of my penis. However I did have a slight problem with this. The vibrations alone were not enough to get me close to orgasm. Not by a long shot. Sure the vibrations felt good and all, but it’s just not hitting the right spots. And the reason for this is simply down to the design. The inside of the sleeve has these little pleasure bumps – but unless you move the sleeve, they don’t really serve any real purpose. So that’s when I decided to stroke with the sleeve, and this highlighted another problem. As soon as I moved the sleeve up, the vibrating egg was no longer in contract with the penis so those vibrations were lost.

I find that I respond much better to vibrations when they are focused on the frenulum, and sadly this toy just doesn’t do that. But this does mean the toy does indeed live up to it’s name of ‘Teazer’ – it was certainly teasing me with some nice, pleasant sensations initially, but once you really get down to it, it actually felt a little flat and boring. At least when you use it on it’s own. The real excitement came from having the OH tied up, blindfolded and receiving extra stimulus from being gently flogged and spanked. But this just further highlights a problem with this toy. It’s just not exciting enough, and any pleasure received from this is not actually a direct result of what the toy is doing, more a side effect of other stimuli.

Clean-up and Maintenance

The toy is not waterproof, so you will need to take it apart to clean it. Remove the egg from the sleeve, and then rinse that with warm water and lots of anti-bacterial toy spray. This sort of rubber material is generally porous, so make sure it is totally clean and dry before you put it away.

The bullet can be cleaned with a damp cloth. When storing, I would advise storing this away from other toys (especially ones made from similar materials) – unless you plan to keep it in it’s original box (which I did) otherwise you risk it ‘melting’ if it comes into contact with other toys – and no one wants a hot melting mess in their toy box.

Summary

Is this toy perfect? Not by a long shot. Ideally, I wouldn’t have the sleeve made from rubber, and I’d certainly think about re-positioning the bullet to ensure that those vibrations really hit the sweet spots. However, if I have to say something positive, when used in a restrained scenario, then it does actually help enhance all other sensations, and it does feel bloody good. However, on it’s own, it did leave a lot to be desired, and I have to admit to find myself not reaching for this much any more. The vibrations just don’t really do it for me (at least, not in the current configuration of the sleeve).

This product has now been discontinued. But check out the other awesome products available from Lovehoney today. 

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