Love Life Cruiser 3-in-1 Anal Tool Kit

A little while ago, I wrote my ‘sex toy resolutions’ for 2015 – these were toys that I was going to ensure that I got and reviewed for this year. We’re going well so far, and one of the products that I had listed was the Love Life Cruiser.

I’d been following the development of this product for a little while. I was contacted by the kind folk over at Lovehoney a little while ago, who asked if I would review it for them. Naturally, I couldn’t turn down the offer. Unfortunately, life got in the way, and it’s taken me a little longer than usual to get the review for this written up.

But I finally have, and I can now present the review for this ‘unique’ product that calls itself the ‘first self-lubricating anal tool kit’. How did we get on with it? Well, read on to find out….

First Impressions

Anyone who knows me (and follows the blog) knows that when it comes to luxury products, packaging is always a big part of the overall experience. If it’s packaged really nicely, I am always more excited to get down and review it. The ‘Cruiser’ is no exception. I would go as far as saying it’s actually the most well thought out packaging, and probably one of the nicest I’ve seen in a long time.

There is a clear plastic outer case, along with a black and white cardboard sleeve, which is tastefully decorated with just a simple image of the toy, along with a close-up of a motorbike. It really does feel incredibly masculine. As you slip off the cardboard slip, a black soft leather lid, emblazoned with the ‘Cruiser’ logo, greets you. A lot of effort has clearly gone into coming up with this packaging.

Lifting up the lid, you see the Cruiser and the attachments, nestled in their foam bed, covered by another clear plastic lid. You get the base unit, the three silicone attachments, 2 lube cartridges, a manual and a magnetic USB charging cable. You even get a little authenticity card as well. It really does feel incredibly luxurious.

The three attachments are made with soft silky silicone, and are soft and smooth to the touch. You have the tapered anal trainer, which has an insertable length of 4.8 inches, with a maximum circumference of 4.6 inches. Then you have the prostate probe, which has an insertable length of 5.5 inches and has a girth of 5 inches. The butt plug has an insertable length of 5.1 inches and a filling girth of 6.4 inches.

To get the ‘Cruiser’ ready to use, you need to charge it for approximately 6 hours. This can be done via USB on your computer, or if you have a wall adapter, you can charge it that way (which is what I would recommend – more on that, later!)

In Use

The ‘Cruiser’ is self-lubricating. Inside the box, you get 2 cartridges of lube (each holding about 22ml). These get inserted into the base unit, and then the lube is dispensed out of the top of the toy. The cartridges are easy to insert (they will only go in one way).

There are 3 controls on the unit – the power/vibration speed, lube control and finally ‘patterns’. When you first press the power button, the buttons will change to blue to indicate it is on. A second press of the power button starts the vibrations. Further presses of the button will cycle through the speeds (of which I counted 3). The middle button is the Lube control. When pressed, this will dispense lube out of a hole in the very top of the attachment. One press will administer about a pea size of lube. You can press and hold the button so it can dispense more if required. The pattern button cycles through the patterns, of which I counted 3 (meaning overall there are 9 combinations).

Anal Trainer

So when I got down to playing with the Cruiser, this was the first attachment I went for, as it was the smallest, and I figured that despite being a ‘trainer’, I actually figured it would be just a nice way to ‘warm’ up before I moved on to the 2 attachments I was most interested in. This attachment is perfect as a warm up, and therefore would be a great beginners attachment. After dispensing just about 2 clicks of lube (it’s about 2 ‘pea size’ blobs), it slipped in very easily. With the vibrations, this was the attachment I would use to just ‘thrust’ with. It felt pleasurable, despite being completely straight.

Prostate Probe

The second largest attachment, the prostate probe has a curved shape, along with the bulbous, rounded tip. After warming up with the trainer, with a couple of extra clicks of lube, this too inserted quite easily. The wider girth was filling, and it found my prostate with relative ease. The vibrations kicked things up a notch; I didn’t feel the need to move the toy too much once it was inserted, except perhaps occasionally ‘wriggling’ it about.

Butt Plug

The largest of all the attachment, this is definitely something I needed to work up to. Whilst I have used toys of a similar girth before, it’s not something I can just jump straight into – but a session utilising the other 2 attachments makes this much easier. Once I was able to get it fully inserted, I had to take a few moments as I got used to its size. If you enjoy feeling stretched and stuffed, this is the attachment for you.

On their own, the attachments are comfortable (the smooth, silky silicone ensures that insertion is simple). Even though the toy is ‘self-lubricating’, if you want to use some other lube, to help get you started, feel free – although personally, I never needed to use any additional lube – a couple of clicks to coat the tip, and then applied more lube as we got going. At no point did it ever feel like it was too dry – but you can do what you feel is best.

The vibrations left a little bit to be desired. I mean, they are not horrible vibrations – thankfully they were surprisingly rumbly (and I was half expected them to be very weak and buzzy) – but there were times when I was laying there (particularly with the prostate probe attached) wishing that the vibrations where just a touch stronger (I guess I really have been well and truly spoiled by the Rosa). However, I persisted, and actually in the end, the Cruiser was able to work it’s magic, and before long I was in the throes of orgasm. So when I’m looking for a nice long drawn out session, this is what I’ll be reaching for.

The self-lubricating feature is good, but not without it’s problems. The first couple of pushes of the button did nothing – then the lube was finally dispensed. When coming back to the toy later, again, it took a couple of clicks to dispense the lube. Each press dispenses about a pea size amount of lube. To get comfortable insertion, a couple of presses are required to give the tip a decent enough coating. You can, of course, use separate lube to get you going, and then just use the self-lube feature during use – however, for me, what I was enjoying about the self-lubricating, was the fact it was so ‘un-messy’. At no point did I ever find my hands slick and slippery to the point where I couldn’t hold on to the toy any more. This mean controlling it was an absolute breeze. The sound of the lube being dispensed is very mechanical, and reminds me of those automatic soap dispensers you sometimes get in public toilets.

Despite all the wonderfulness, I have a few critiques. Firstly, charging. The magnetic charge is VERY delicate. Just a breathing in front of it can knock it off – imagine my frustration when I left it charging, came back later to find it had been knocked slightly, and the connector had fallen off. It’s also advisable to find a USB wall adapter, as trying to charge it through my laptop actually took MUCH longer than 6 hours. For the price of this, I would have actually expected a wall charger to be included. As an ‘Apple’ household, there is no shortage of plugs in here, so it’s not an issue for me – but I still think it should be a basic accessory included in any toy that can be charged via USB.

The lube chute is also a bit fiddly, and we had an accident when changing an attachment – the lid came open and the cartridge fell out – when trying to pop it back in, we accidentally squirted lube inside the chamber – and it was incredibly difficult to clean out (so be careful, especially as the base unit is NOT waterproof!)

Clean-up and Maintenance

The attachments are all silicone, so a thorough wash with some warm water and toy cleaner would be sufficient to clean. You can boil them as well to sterilise. Just make sure they are completely dry before putting any of them back on to the base unit. You will want to ensure you give the sleeves a THOROUGH clean, especially around the lubrication hole. If you are not completely ‘clean’, you may find material will become stuck around the hole. This is a bit of a design flaw, but so far, I haven’t experienced any major problems. But it’s something to keep an eye on.

One of the lube tubes provides enough lube for a couple of sessions, and you can prolong that by pre-lubing using other lube (although that honestly feels like it defeats the point of a self-lubricating toy).

Summary

Well I have to say, I actually really enjoyed using the ‘Cruiser’. The attachments all provide a different sensation, and there is something in there for beginners, intermediates and more advanced anal players. As a kit, I think you have everything any self-discerning anal connoisseur could ask for.

The anal trainer attachment is a great warm up, and is perfect for thrusting. The prostate probe has curves in all the right places, and was able to find the p-spot with ease. The butt plug stretched me out but not uncomfortably, and gave me that deep, full feeling that I have come to love.

Is it value for money? Well, I think if you take into account you actually have ‘three’ vibrating toys in one package, yeah, I would say it’s good value. To make it GREAT value, they should have included a USB wall adapter, and given it an extra tube of lube (seeing how refills come in packs of 3).

The vibrations are decent, but power queens may be a little under-whelmed, despite their rumbly nature. I also wish the base unit was actually waterproof – most luxury toys these days are, so this feels like a bit of an under-sight. Generally speaking though, this is a really nice, well thought out luxury package, perfect for the man in your life (although I honestly don’t see any reason why you ladies couldn’t take advantage either!).

NOTE: This product has been discontinued.

The Love Life Cruiser was kindly sent to me by Lovehoney in exchange for my honest review. This in no way affects my opinions of the toy. All experiences given are both my own and true. Lovehoney offer thousands of products at competitive prices, offer FREE Discreet delivery when you spend £10 or more and they have an unbeatable no quibble, 365-day return policy!