There’s nothing I love more than a good offer. Sales and special deals always bring a smile to my face, and you can sometimes pick up some pretty sweet products that may have ordinarily glanced over.
Such is the case with this weeks review. I had been browsing Lovehoney‘s extremely generous 3 for £75 offer and I decided to grab myself a few little pieces to bulk out my at-the-time empty review box. It’s sod’s law that no soon as I had done that, I had offers for reviews coming out of my ear drums and now I am currently working through a fairly hefty back log. There are some amazing products coming up, and whilst I am hastily working on trying to get them sorted, I thought I should at least get something out to keep you going, and this was a fairly quick and easy product to review.
Today we are taking a look at a little vibrating masturbator I picked up, because whilst you know I have much respect for things like Fleshlight and TENGA, not everyone is looking to drop that amount of cash, so I’m trying to find some more ‘affordable’ products for those who are budget conscious, or just don’t want to spend that much on a sex toy.
The Doc Johnson OptiMALE UR3 vibrating stroker is one of many in their OptiMALE range – all ranging from various sleeves and strokers, to cock rings and pumps. The tagline is ‘Men’s Sexual Health + Wellness’ – which is really just a fancy way of saying ‘We help you orgasm’. The range is packaged in a very simple, yet masculine fashion – they haven’t resorted to using scantily clad models and vulgar language to sell the product.
Inside the box, is a firm plastic container which doubles up as storage AND a handy travel case for when your wanking on the go. Within the plastic housing, you will find the Stroker, a battery operated waterproof bullet, a packet of UR3 renewal powder and a care leaflet. The first thing you will notice is the smell. Unlike FantaFlesh, this brand of UR3 almost has a… dare I say it… a sweet, almost pleasant smell? It does slowly fade after a few washes (unlike FantaFlesh).
The sleeve has a cavity in which you can slot a vibrating bullet to increase and enhance stimulation. The bullet features 10 functions – 3 speeds and 7 patterns. It’s waterproof and can be removed to be used on it’s own. The vibrations are fairly strong but really buzzy, to the point of being VERY tickly when used on the skin. The bullet is powered by three LR44 button cell batteries (included).
So you can use the stroker with our without the bullet. For the sake of covering both angles, I started WITHOUT the bullet first, to get an idea of how the stroker would feel on it’s own. As I pick up the sleeve and grip it, I almost feel like i’m holding a hand-grenade. It has a very ‘military’ shape. The sleeve has a penetrable length of 4 inches but the sleeve does have a lot of give to it, so it should be accommodating to most sizes.
Inside the canal, is a series of massage beads that will stroke and rub the shaft as you slide it up and down your penis. On it’s own, the sleeve felt… OK. It was nothing that I hadn’t felt before and it sure felt nice – but I wasn’t thinking ‘OH MY GOD’. I was actually thinking ‘Could this BE any louder?!’. The squelching and slurping that was coming from it was positively frightful.
Deciding the time was right to ‘ramp it up’, I grabbed the bullet and began to insert it into the cavity. There’s a little bit of resistance as you try to force it in, but a firm push and it will slide all the way down. To operate the bullet, simply press the button once to turn it on. Each subsequent press will cycle through the speeds/patterns and then firmly holding the button down will switch it off. With an additional application of lube, I slipped back inside and turned the vibrations on.
On the lowest speed, I felt the mildest of mild vibrations towards the tip of my penis. To some extent, the vibrations did travel around the sleeve, so it could be felt almost all over, but it was VERY gentle. Once on the top speed, however, things got a little more noticeable and a lot nicer. To get the best out of this sleeve, I found it best to hold it in your hand, so the bullet is coming into contact with the underside of your penis, where the frenulum is. As you then slide in and out, the bullet then comes into direct contact with those more sensitive areas, and they do indeed heighten the sensation.
To increase that even further, if you squeeze the sleeve as you thrust, you can really feel the vibrations working deeply. Now, whilst vibrations alone can usually lead me to orgasm, this wouldn’t work in this case. The vibrations just aren’t strong enough, nor are they the deep, rumbly kind that I really respond too. However, combined with the textured beads in the sleeve, the stroking motion and the slight vibration on the frenulum, it did combine into a pretty solid orgasm.
Clean-up and Maintenance
Clean-up is a simple as giving it a good thorough wash with water and anti-bacterial toy cleaner. Remember, the material (UR3) is porous so is best not shared with other people, and you should ensure it is thoroughly dry before storing. You can let it air dry or use a soft cloth to dry the sleeve. Once dried, give it a liberal dusting to restore the sleeve to it’s softer, silkier state and then store inside the plastic container provided until your next use – this will separate it from other toys AND keep it dust and hair free – which is also a plus!
So it’s a pretty decent masturbator. It provides some good sensations, the vibrations are a nice added touch and overall, it’s pretty discreet, small and the storage case makes it perfect for people who maybe share a house with other people, and they want something that can be easily stored away from prying eyes.
However, there are a couple of issues – firstly, because of its size and shape, once get lube on the outside of the sleeve, it’s pretty difficult to keep hold of, so do endeavour to keep lube away from the outside, otherwise you’ll be chasing it round the room. Secondly, the noise – that slurping is a huge deal-breaker for me. Whilst on some toys, it can be tolerable – here, it’s just far too loud and it really does put me off my stride.
Thirdly, the smell. Whilst it’s not overly off-putting for me, for other, I know it will be just too much (but thankfully the storage case again comes in handy to ‘contain’ the smell when the toy is not in use. However, for those looking for something a bit more exciting than your hand, but less extravagant than a Fleshlight, it ain’t half bad.
Where To Buy
I ordered mine from Lovehoney for £29.99.
The Lowdown | Doc Johnson OptiMALE UR3 Vibrating Stroker
Pros: Small, Discreet, Good sensation, vibrations are a nice touch – storage container is a bonus.
Cons: The smell can be a bit over-powering initially, and that squelching…!
Bottom Line: Good value, offers plenty of sensation and easy to clean and store. If you can get past the smell and the squelching, it’ll do you alright.